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typicalopposite · 24 hours ago
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and for my last mpreg update here is chapter one of the Omega Tommy fic!
rejected
chapter one: sick over you
(also posted on ao3)
The rain is pouring down, and with the tears flooding from his eyes Tommy can barely see the road ahead of him as he speeds away from Evan’s apartment building. Perhaps coming by unannounced had been stupid. Even still, he hadn’t expected… that to be the reaction he received. Not that he doesn’t think it’s the reaction he deserves, but to hear Evan’s voice— raised in anger and filled with disgust— tell him to get out of his life; it hurt in a way nothing has ever hurt him before. 
He feels numb.
Numb like he felt at his mother’s funeral. Numb like he felt every time his father lifted a hand to him. Numb like he felt when some random alpha made an off handed comment in his direction. Numb like he felt when came home and caught Liam— his ex-mate… the one he’d thought was his true mate— in bed with another. Numb like he felt when their bond had broken; Liam had gotten them pregnant, that creates a stronger bond than any mere mating bite ever could… Another had given Liam what Tommy had longed to— what Tommy has always longed for… but was told he could never have. 
The tears come harder; the rain picks up. 
He had been told he would never carry a child of his own. It was not meant to be. Liam had held him as he cried, at least until he got Tommy home… Then his anger reared its head. Useless! That's what he had called Tommy. A disgrace. 
Broken… 
Broken… 
Broken… 
“Guess I’m not so broken after all,” Tommy laughs out loud. The words are bitter… their meaning heavy. Too heavy. Tommy fears it might be crushed by their weight. 
Two days ago he couldn’t shake the feeling any longer. 40 years and he has never missed a heat. 40 years and he has never felt so sluggish and off. He knew well before the doctor confirmed it. “Congratulations, Mr. Kinard… you’re pregnant.”
He sat with those words for two whole days; mulling over what he should do. 
He knew what he had to do. He was just unsure of how to do it. He had left, after all. He told Evan they were through and ran away before Evan could get too close… oh how Tommy had wanted to let Evan get close anyway. He hadn’t felt a pull towards anyone since he lost his bond with Liam… Then he met Evan. 
The pull he felt towards Evan was so much stronger than anything he’d ever felt towards Liam. It was so powerful, so intense, so real… Too real… and he had to break it before Evan wanted something more… something he couldn’t give him. 
Except he could… it seems. 
So he had to swallow his pride— and his fear— and he had to tell him. 
He decided he would go beg Evan’s forgiveness, then tell him the news, and hope it would be enough. He hoped Evan could forgive him, and would love him despite his actions. He hoped Evan could love him like he knew Evan would love their child. 
But Evan didn’t give him a chance to speak…
��No,” he’d said, eyes red rimmed and misty like he’d been crying some time before Tommy showed up at his door. “No. I get to talk now.” Tommy gave a sharp nod and let Evan talk. Boy, did Evan talk. “You don’t get to disappear from my life, then just show back up and cry your way back into it Tommy.” 
“I- I wasn’t…” Tommy tried, but Evan shot him an angry glare and his mouth snapped shut. 
“I wanted a future with you,” Evan said. “I saw a future with you… and you left. You— You didn’t even give me a good reason… you just left. You didn’t care about how that would make me feel, all you cared about was how you didn’t want me to make you feel, in some unforeseen future you decided— on your own— that we were heading towards. Do you know how long I spiraled because of that?” 
Tommy stared at him, knowing he must look like a deer in headlights— he honestly hadn’t expected to learn Evan had spiraled from the break up at all. Been sad, sure, moped around for a short while, maybe… but to know he spiraled… over Tommy? He cared that much for Tommy? “Evan, if you would just let me explain—”
“I waited, Tommy…” Evan interjects. “For months, I waited. You bubbled me and I—” he scoffs, wiping roughly at one eye as a tear slips free. “I held on to hope you would finally just send the damn message. Or call. Or— I don’t know— do something. But you didn’t.”
Tommy hung his head. “I know…” he said softly. “I— I’m sorry. But… I’m— I’m here now…”
“Now?” Evan huffed out a sarcastic laugh. “Now… is too late.”
Tommy heard the words, but they did register until Evan asked him to leave. “L- Leave?” Tommy felt his bottom lip trembling, his heart began to race. 
“Yes, Tommy. Leave. Please.” 
“B- But I— I have to tell you…”
“Dammit Tommy, I don’t care, okay?” Tommy flinches at the rise in Evan’s voice. “You had your chance to come around. You didn’t. I said it’s too late, I meant it. So go... Leave.” 
Tommy blinked. He was… shocked? No, not really… Hurt? Well he did it to himself, didn’t he. 
Rain pelts against the windshield; his wipers, even on full blast, can’t keep up. His tears haven’t stopped flowing since he— partially lost in a daze— backed out of Evan’s loft, turned and bolted towards the elevator. The sound of the door slamming caused him to jolt as he frantically pressed the button. He hits a pocket of water and the truck hydroplanes. It doesn’t scare him in and of itself, he knows how to control his vehicle, but it’s enough to make him pull over and either calm down or wait out the storm. 
With his truck safely stopped, he allows himself to cry. The cries quickly turn to sobs, and the sobs get stronger and louder until he is screaming at the top of his lungs. He is slinging his fists like a mad man, bringing them down against the steering wheel until he knows there will be bruises left behind— until he thinks he might have broken one of his pinkies… It throbs and has a large lump poking out the side. 
Only then does he stop, and just sit there, his hands sore and laid gently in his lap. He sobs until he has nothing left in him to cry out. 
Evan doesn’t want him. 
Evan doesn’t want him.
Evan doesn’t want him… anymore. 
Evan wanted a future with him and Tommy ruined it. He ruined it… ruined it… ruined it. Now he will be alone. Evan will love their child… of course he will. He is not a cruel person, regardless of how bad his words hurt… they were well deserved. But Tommy knows he won’t take his anger out on their child. 
But he won’t love Tommy.
Tommy will be alone… like it was always meant to be. 
He inhales and feels it— the moment something inside him breaks; his heart, perhaps. It lies broken inside him oozing out a sickening feeling throughout his entire body. He feels alone. He feels unloved. 
He feels… rejected.
*
The rain is pouring down and Tommy hates flying when he’s not the one at the controls. Every turbulence sends a wave of nausea through him— it doesn’t help that he is constantly nauseous anyway. He closes the shade over the window, squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to focus on breathing. 
In… out… in… out… in—
“Sir,” a voice says; a hand touches his shoulder. The stewardess looks distressed as she leans over the empty seat to him. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine…” Tommy lies, and the look she gives him makes it apparent she knows that he is. He is clammy and sweaty. He is sure his face is flushed, his pupils dilated… He can only imagine how distressed his scent is. “I’ll be okay.” Eventually? Someday? Maybe? Probably not… the woman sighs and eventually leaves. 
Have you recently separated from your mate? 
The question echoes in his memory… takes him back to days of constant sickness; unable to hold anything down and coupled with extreme fatigue— he could barely even keep his eyes open… Lucy told him if he didn’t go to the doctor she was going to drag him in by his ears. 
“My- My mate?” Tommy had responded to the question, not completely, but just confused enough that the doctor would have automatically assumed that just because he was pregnant that he was also mated. “I don’t have one.” 
His doctor— the same old crotchety man he’s seen since his adolescence— peered up at him over his glasses, then down at his midsection. He was only barely showing, but Tommy’s hand still instinctively found its way to the spot their baby was nestled. “You seem pretty mated to me,” he responded, waiting for a beat then continuing with, “Is the other parent not involved with the pregnancy?” 
Tommy stared at him long enough he didn’t need to answer. 
“Mr. Kinard, this is not extreme morning sickness you’re experiencing. It’s rejection sickness.” 
“R- Rejection… sickness— but I’m not—”
“Mated. Yes. I understand you believe that,” the doctor interjected, sounding slightly annoyed. “However, your body is saying— screaming, really— quite the opposite.” 
The plane shakes and drops in the sky and Tommy tries to ignore it by thinking of the pamphlet tucked away in his luggage. 
A nurse had handed it to him before he left the office. “Doctor Pate circled some groups you can reach out to for help.” She had said, pushing the folded paper into Tommy’s hand. “Although your best option is to just return to your mate.” She made it seem so simple. She had no idea how much it was anything but simple. He thanked her anyway and walked out. 
Two weeks later and he wasn’t getting any better. He could barely even get out of bed. The pamphlet sat on his bedside table staring at him— mocking him. 
“Maybe you should just… call him,” Lucy had suggested. Tommy groaned and shook his head, burrowing into his pillow. He heard stories of omegas getting the urge to make nests during their pregnancies. A safe space for them to cocoon inside as their bodies changed and grew the new precious life. He hadn’t had the urge to do much of anything other than sleep… and wallow. “Tommy you’re scaring me,” she said, shoving him gently so he would look up at her. “If this is rejection—”
“It’s not.” It can’t be… he thought; he hoped. 
Lucy glared at him, but the anger faded quickly. She seemed to be as exhausted as Tommy felt. “But if it is… Tommy, people die from this! It’s serious.” 
“Don’t you think I know that, Luce!” Tommy managed to snap back. “What am I supposed to do about it! He doesn’t want me!” 
Unwanted.
Unloved.
Rejected.
Maybe if he kept denying it… his body would get the memo and it would just… go away, even if he knew deep down that it wouldn't work, and the doctor was right. Evan was his mate… Bound to him by the tiny life now struggling to survive inside his broken diseased body. Evan was his mate, but he would never truly be Tommy’s; he didn’t want to be. 
The thought curdled inside him and the sour feeling spread throughout. 
The plane shakes and Lucy plops back down in her seat. “Thank god we’re almost there,” she sighs. “Fucking hate flying as a passenger.” Tommy does his best to react; he gives the weakest laugh. She doesn’t point it out, just rests her hand on his where he’s gripping the arm rest and they ride out the turbulence together. 
Lucy had been the one to suggest the trip. 
After another doctor visit, where Tommy had only shown signs of getting worse: loss in appetite, in weight, he was even losing hair. The doctor urged Tommy to reach out to his mate and Tommy finally explained the situation in its entirety. This led to the doctor giving them a major hurdle in the very definite diagnosis of mate rejection… That it no longer mattered if he called and informed Evan about the baby. His condition was so severe, if Evan truly meant what he said when sent Tommy away— if he had truly moved on and no longer wanted to be with Tommy, accepting the child would do nothing for the sickness. 
“Well we have to do something,” Lucy had said frantically. The doctor had left them with a very bleak outlook. One Tommy accepted all too easily, while Lucy refused to accept at all. She still believed going to Evan would work— she believed he was upset, and hadn’t meant what he said at all. Tommy did not believe that at all, and made her promise she wouldn’t tell him; she agreed on one condition. 
“Yea’llo,” Sal had said through the phone, and despite the heavy pout Tommy wore from being forced to call his best friend for assistance with his… situation, he smiled. He let Lucy explain, but he made her lie about who the alpha father was. (Lucy was easy to convince to keep a level head about the baby, and the Evan of it all… Sal would not be… if he could be kept level headed about it in the first place— which, probably not.)
They told Sal it was a one night stand… Tommy had no idea who the alpha was, or how to get up with him… Sal gave his spiel; he called Tommy a dumbass, then retracted it with kind words and promised to do whatever he can to help. There was never a question of whether Tommy could go to Sal’s or not, so across the US they went. 
This plan might not work. Lucy knows that… Sal knows that… Tommy knows that. In the pamphlets, it says that while it’s best to be reunited with their alpha in the case of an omega with rejection sickness, being around another alpha has been proven to help tremendously, especially one with a close bond to the omega. Lucy is a beta… she has always been so happy about the freedom that comes with it… until now. 
Sal, however, is an alpha, and the two have been best friends for as long as Tommy can remember; even when Sal and his family moved out to Virginia so he could finally get his chance at a captain’s position, they remained extremely close: visits on holidays, birthdays, or just because… Sal’s family adores Tommy. Plus being around Gina (another Omega) and the kids will likely help with the rejection sickness as well. 
Tommy feels woozy as Lucy helps him through the boarding bridge, but that can be attributed mostly to the very rough— very long— flight. He collapses down into the first seat he sees, and lets his head fall into his hands. “I’ll call Sal,” Lucy says, but before she can, what sounds like a stampede is running towards them. 
“Uncle Tommy! Uncle Tommy!!” The familiar little voices pull a smile to his face despite how awful he’s feeling. He forces his head up to see SJ and Gino coming at him like a couple missiles. Seeing two of his favorite little people makes it easy enough to smile past how rotten he feels and his arms immediately open to them; he ‘oofs’ when they ultimately collide with him. 
“Easy you two!” Sal scolds them when he finally catches up. 
“Sorry,” they both say, dipping their heads. “Uncle Tommy, Mama says you have a baby in your belly,” Gino continues, eyes wide and curious. “Is that true?” Tommy laughs weakly, and nods. “How did it get in there!?” 
“His alpha put it there!” SJ answers while Tommy panickedly looks to Sal for help. 
“Uncle Tommy has an alpha?!” 
“Is the baby a boy or girl,” SJ asks, pivoting the direction of questioning. 
“When will it be here!?” 
“What are you going to name it!?”
“Alright, alright…” Sal groans, grabbing handfuls of the backs of both boys shirts and lifting them away from Tommy. They laugh and hold their arms out like they are flying as Sal swings them around and sets them down next to Lucy. 
“Lucy!” They both excite run into her arms, nearly taking her down to the floor.  
He tries to ignore the worried look Sal is giving him when he struggles to lift his head up enough to meet his best friend's eyes. “Where are the girls,” he asks, noticing the absence of Gina and their youngest, Tori. 
“How do you think we would have gotten you back to the house if everyone came, stuck you in the back of the truck?” His sarcasm is even falling flat as he crosses his arms and furrows his brows down at Tommy. 
“Thought Gina finally talked you into a minivan,” Tommy quips back. 
“I’ll be damned if you ever see me in it…” 
“Spoken like a true macho-macho man,” Lucy laughs, still wrestling with the boys. 
They all laugh at that, until a wave of pain and nausea crashes over Tommy and he has to lean himself forward and close his eyes in an attempt to settle his stomach. He groans as softly as he can but even SJ and Gino go quiet after hearing it. “Are you okay Uncle Tommy…” SJ asks, pulling free from Lucy’s hold and walking back over to where Tommy is begging his body to calm the hell down. 
“He will be,” Sal says, resting a hand on SJ’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get going,” he adds, extending his other hand out to Tommy.
He helps Tommy to his feet and his knees start to buckle the moment his full weight is put on them. “Whoa,” Lucy yelps, and hurries to his other side. “Uhm… maybe— maybe you should try… I don’t know— scenting… or something. See if it’s going to work or— or help.” Sal shrugs and looks to Tommy for him to make the decision. 
Tommy hesitates, letting himself take in Sal’s scent at a distance first. He hates how much it is already working— how fast it is already working. He hates his stupid, weak, omega body for being so needy for it in the first place. 
“Alright, go on,” Sal says, his smug smirk finally returning as he opens his arms to Tommy; it surprisingly helps Tommy calm down about it all. “Get a good whiff so you’re not all mopey, and stinking up the truck, on the ride back to the house!” 
Tommy’s feet are moving before his brain even registers it, and he all but melts into the embrace; his nose quickly finds the scent gland and presses into it. It’s humiliating how his body forces him to draw in a deep breath. It’s also overwhelmingly relaxing, and the pins and needles he’s felt throughout his body all week almost instantly disappear. He feels a sob vibrating up and out of him before he can stop it, and he hears Lucy ushering the boys to go help her find Tommy’s luggage to give him a moment. 
“What were you thinking, T…” Sal whispers, tightening his arms around Tommy’s shoulders. 
“I wasn’t…” Tommy replies— and damn, isn’t that the truth…
Sal sighs, and pulls back to look at Tommy. His eyes are so full of worry, and maybe just a hint of anger… Thankfully it will only be towards Tommy for getting himself in this position, and not Evan for unknowingly putting him in it. “Let’s go home,” Sal says, and he has always referred to his home Tommy’s home… There have been plenty of times in their friendship Sal’s home was the only home Tommy had known. It soothes him a little more, and finally he has his bearings back enough to nod and follow Sal out of the airport. 
*
The rain is pouring down and the baby is expected any day now. 
In actuality, the baby isn’t due for a few more weeks… but as it stands, with Tommy’s sickness worsening by the day, his doctors don’t expect him to make it to his due date. He sits in his big comfy recliner, and stares out the window at the rain pelting against the ground, creating puddles in Sal and Gina’s front yard. Outside his room he can hear Sal stomping around pissily, gathering his bags and filling them with just enough for a trip to LA and back. 
He wants to stop him… to run out of his room begging and pleading with Sal to not do this— it won’t help, it’s not fair— but he can’t. He slowly moves his eyes down to his body; it’s frail and pale and too weak to do much of anything beyond sitting in his big comfy recliner, and staring wistfully out the window. 
It had been too good to be true that everything would turn out okay… too good to be true Evan could be left out of it until after the baby was born, like Tommy is sure he is going to want to be once he is told the truth. Of course good things and Tommy don’t mesh well, and he took a turn for the worse a month ago. 
Up until then Tommy was doing fine. The sickness had almost subsided completely, he was on a temporary transfer to Virginia Beach Fire Department. He could even go as far as to say him and the baby were thriving. 
Tommy started to let himself enjoy being pregnant. He loved feeling the baby kick against his hand as he told them stories, or sang them songs. He was growing more and more excited to become a papa, and when he had hard, sad days… he would be wrapped up by his family and allowed to soak in their love laced scents to get his mind back on track. 
He didn’t need an alpha— he didn’t need his alpha… He had enough. It would be enough. He would be enough… 
It almost was enough. 
It started to snowball down a very steep hill when April rolled around… 
Tommy walked into the kitchen, grabbing a strip of bacon from Sal’s plate— he snorted out a laugh as Sal grumpily swatted his hand away— Gina greeted him with a kiss to his cheek and allowed him to scoop Tori up from her arms. The routine calmness of the morning was interrupted when Sal mentioned it being a year since Tommy let Howie talk him into nearly losing his job to save Nash’s ass. 
A whole year… since he met Evan. 
Tommy stares out the window at the rain pouring down and combined with the tears filling his eyes he can barely see the Uber logo illuminated in the car windshield that comes to a stop outside the house. He hears his door creak open, and Sal’s scent fills the room as he steps inside. Tommy struggles to breathe it in and he misses the days it actually helped with the aches and pains coursing through his body, and the constant state of nausea he feels. 
“Hey,” Sal says softly, pulling up a chair to Tommy’s side. He waits for Tommy to slowly turn his head and face him, an exhausted sigh escaping his lips. “Don’t look at me like that, T…” Sal says, and he reaches up to adjust the oxygen tube in Tommy’s nose, careful of the feeding tube also taped down to his cheek. Tommy can feel his lips tugging down, and he’s really not trying to make Sal feel bad— it hurts to see how much looking at Tommy like this clearly hurts Sal. 
Sal blames himself, in a way… for Tommy getting worse. Unjustifiable as it might be, Tommy knows Sal does. He had come to his room that evening— after bringing up the reunion of the cruise ship disaster— and knocked gently. He apologized through the closed door for reopening that wound; he said he thought he’d gotten over the kid, he talked about him so rarely. But Sal hadn’t known the truth behind Tommy’s silence… and that’s on Tommy. 
“Come on man, can you please open the door?” Sal had said, and he sounded so broken up. Tommy forced himself up and out of his self wallowing, dragging his feet to the door to open it. 
He was able to fake it for just a few days. Then the sickness took hold and Tommy stopped eating. He stopped sleeping… He stopped talking. He began feeling himself disassociating from the pregnancy: the kick’s brought him anguish instead of joy, the thought of giving birth to his child was overpowered by the reminder it was also Evan’s child… and Evan no longer wanted him. 
Evan had rejected him. 
His alpha had rejected him.
His mate had rejected him. 
The sickness spread so quickly no one— even the doctors— knew how to combat it. 
“I don’t understand…” he had heard Sal say outside his room. Lucy had flown in when Gina had called to inform her things had taken a turn for the worse, and now they were out there going back and forth about his condition. Tommy laid in his bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines trying desperately to keep him alive, and listened, unable to intervene or contribute at all. “He was getting better… then suddenly he’s in his feelings about that damned Buckley kid and—” Tommy listened as Sal sighed, long and deep and frustrated. “Son of a bitch…” 
“Sal—” Gina said softly, quietly… but Tommy heard her anyway. 
“Does he know…” Sal asked; Lucy didn’t respond… “What the fuck T…” Sal groaned, and Tommy stopped trying to hear the rest of the conversation. He let his eyes fall closed and allowed exhaustion to pull him into a very restless sleep. 
The outlook was so bleak. Lucy had sat beside his bed and cried as she tried to get him to eat some jello. Sal grew angrier and angrier with the situation. The younger of the kids stopped being allowed in to see him; his appearance was so haggard and ghastly it had frightened Tori and Gino… SJ chose to stop coming in on his own; he couldn’t stand to see his Uncle Tommy waste away, he’d told his mother. 
Tommy hated himself for causing the people he cared about so much despair. 
He’s pretty sure he can even pinpoint the exact moment in it all that he pushed Sal to make the decision to go get Evan. 
The night nurse hadn’t arrived yet and Tommy’s bedding needed to be changed. He tried to plead with Gina to wait— to not call Sal in to help. I’m fine, he thought… but could not force the words to come out no matter how hard he tried. He could do no more than grunt and weep, then finally just give up and let it happen. Tommy turned his eyes away, and tried to pretend he didn’t hear them both gasp at seeing him fully exposed. 
“I’m going to get that little shit and bring him here,” he heard Sal tell Gina and Lucy; no hesitation in his voice, he was very clear actually. 
“What if he refuses to come back with you…” Lucy countered. 
“Oh that’s not going to be an issue,” Sal stated very matter of factly and Tommy felt a tear slide down his face. Neither woman seemed willing to argue further, and that was that. 
Now, Tommy stares at Sal tiredly. He really wishes he could convey how much he doesn’t want him to do this. It’s not fair to Evan, Tommy thinks. It’s not his fault, he didn’t know… He blinks and the tears fall; Sal quickly swipes them away. 
“Don’t worry, you big softie… I won’t hurt him… too bad,” That gets a genuine laugh from Tommy, albeit weak. “Believe it or not I care about your hard headed ass, and don’t plan on losing you; so what good is he gonna do me in helping keep you around, if he’s dead…” Tommy gives a slow weak nod, and Sal cups the back of his neck helping him hold his head steady. “We’re gonna get you through this, okay?” 
Another nod, and Sal pats Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy watches him stand and walk to the door, notes how he quickly wipes a hand over his face before turning back towards him. He smiles and waves and Tommy uses the very limited amount of energy he has to do the same. Then Sal’s gone, and Tommy’s alone with his thoughts. 
He looks back out the window and watches Sal walk off the porch, turning to pull Gina into his arms— into a deep, passionate kiss— one more time. Tommy wishes he had that connection with someone— not someone… Evan. God he misses him. 
He feels the baby shift, and move, and brings his hand up to rest atop the taut bump. He is so tired, and as he slowly slips into unconsciousness… he just hopes Sal is right. He hopes bringing Evan actually works. 
He hopes he has the strength to make it through if it doesn’t. 
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remus-poopin · 4 months ago
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if were calling what James did an SA then we have to call Snape an abuser for bullying his students
I mean i think I would call Snape’s behavior abusive. He was in a position of power over his students and he abused that power by insulting, demeaning and constantly targeting certain individuals.
I don’t think he was this way with all his students but the way he specifically treats Harry (and possibly Neville) would be considered abusive by today’s standards.
Do I think anyone in the book would call this abusive behavior? Not really. The wizarding world seems to have a pretty lax standard for what they consider child abuse, and he was honestly only marginally worse than the rest of the professors at hogwarts. I think at most they’d call him an unfairly mean teacher.
I also understand why people bring up the behavioral norms of teachers in the 20th century UK that would have clearly informed JKR’s writing of this character. And I understand why people would bring up tropes and genres conventions, because from a doylist standpoint that’s all relevant.
But if we are just looking at his behavior from today’s standards then yeah I’m calling it abusive and bullying. I think this can all be true at the same time.
Same with James and the SA. I fully believe no one in the wizarding world would ever consider that a SA because of how they view gender and violence. And similarly to the issue above, JKR wouldn’t have this in her mind as that serious of an offense due to her age and background. But also like above, by today’s standards we can call it what we know it to be now, a SA.
I understand why people feel uncomfortable with this, they like a character and that’s a harsh label. But I don’t see why that should stop us from just calling it was it is.
Because the way we talk about these things is important to me. I feel very icky whenever I see someone trying to dismiss this as not a SA for any reason because I imagine if someone with a similar experience is coming across these statements they’d feel pretty invalidated and shitty, and at the end of the day that’s more important than fictional character discussions.
But like I mentioned in the last post, I’m more interested in the conditions that surround this action that would allow it to happen, rather than just identifying it for what it is. As I said before the WW has REALLY weird ideas of gender, violence, and consent and the way James was behaving is indicative of those cultural attitudes. No one, including himself, would have saw what he did as particularly horrible because of these factors. And that is a really fascinating (and horrifying) look into the norms of wizarding society.
Personally, gender politics in the wizarding world is my favorite subject when it comes to HP so I love that we have this scene because it’s saying so much without saying much at all. (I must have said this 100 times now but I’m writing something that on so I’ll go more in depth there!)
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astonmartinii · 11 days ago
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other side of the moon: chapter four | formula one imagine
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chapter four: matchstick men
pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli
the cocktail party is fun while it lasts, late guests throw y/n’s decision into question but also show her just who she’s a mentor to.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SERIES MASTERLIST
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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
there was a january chill in the monaco air as max and y/n exited the dutchman’s apartment complex and started their short walk to kimi’s place. y/n pulled the shawl around her tighter, the light material of her slip dress doing nothing to keep the heat in.
“i told you you were going to be cold,” max teased, pulling her into a side hug, rubbing his free hand up and down her arm, “are you sure you don’t want me to run back and get your jumper?”
y/n leaned further into the dutchman’s warmth but shook her head, if she was really that cold by the time they made it to kimi’s she’d just had to steal something from them.
“sometimes you have to make sacrifices to look this good maxy,” y/n said, poking her tongue out at him, “and that includes hypothermia!”
“you don’t need to do anything, you’re perfect the way you are. i should’ve known you were still the same diva from karting when you still managed to look perfect in that ghastly shade of orange.”
“a dutchman who doesn’t like orange, now this is a scandal!”
“i like my orange, my shade - not that ugly papaya. i like you in my orange.”
“well if you play your cards right i might just wear some in zandvoort. they might be paying me a lot, but no one can pay me enough to wear that ugly uniform.”
max tightened his grip on y/n as they turned the corner to kimi and ollie’s place. there, in front of their door, stood the pair… in suits.
“did i miss the memo of this being a black tie event?” max yells, making the two boys jump, “now i look like i just rolled out of bed!”
“you always look like you’ve just rolled out of bed, we’re lucky i put all of your red bull merch in the wash so you’d wear something different tonight.”
kimi came to stand by y/n, she looked down at the italian and fixed his collar.
“are the suits too much? we wanted to make a good impression but… are they all going to laugh at us?” his voice was small and the way he craned his head to look at y/n made him look even smaller.
“no! it’s cute, you guys are going the extra mile and that means a lot. plus if they have a problem with you dapper gents, then they’ll have a problem with me!”
kimi giggled as the pair started on their way to charles’, ollie hung back and turned to max, “thank you for convincing her to say yes, he hasn’t stopped bouncing off the walls since.”
max slapped ollie’s back, “he convinced her all himself. that letter had her immediately, i think she has this weird belief that we’re not all over the moon she’s back. she’s been more herself in these past few days since meeting him than she has in three years. trust me mate, she was a shell of herself. hell, i would’ve given him the second red bull seat years ago if i knew he would bring the real her back to me.”
“i don’t think you have the power to give out the second red bull seat?” ollie pointed out, max shushed him loudly, “that’s what we want you to think.”
up ahead, y/n and kimi had linked arms like they were old friends.
“i don’t want you to be nervous going here tonight. i know my whole retirement to solitude may look like i don’t like anyone in formula one but truth be told they’re all big nerds. i expect you thought max was this big massive asshole before you met him properly but we all know he’s a big softie inside.”
kimi let out a deep breath, “i know i’ve technically met all of them, i mean i’ve been to countless race weekends now, but i’m still scared - i don’t want them to treat me like a kid, i’m a competitor!”
y/n laughed even though truth be told she was guilty of treating kimi like her long lost child, hair ruffles and cheek pinches, the lot. kimi tugged on her arm, “what was it like when you first met the drivers? not like on the grid where everyone is on their best behaviour, but when you truly met them?”
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march 2020 - bahrain testing.
“i’m nervous! what if they hate me!”
y/n whined, throwing the entire contents of her suitcase at george sat on the bed. despite having meticulously planned about a million different outfits for the annual post-test party, she was at a loss for what to wear.
“did you smash into them during preseason? did you piss in their coffee? no! so you’ll be fine, stop worrying.”
“but what if they still hate me?” the look on her face was so genuine that george’s heart broke a little.
“no one can be angry at you for too long,” george laughed, “i’m sure that even if you shunted them into the first wall you they’d be here grovelling first thing.”
pelting another piece of clothing at george’s head, “what like you? i remember monaco last year. how long did it take you?”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about, i’m a broody, stoic stallion, i don’t grovel.”
“your delivery of artisan croissants and a teary monologue about how much i mean to you says different…”
a blush breaks out over george’s face at the memory. he’d hardly covered himself in glory in monaco he’d admit that, but every ounce of common sense left stage right when he saw y/n lean in and lick the line of salt off of mick’s hand.
“i treasure our friendship, i didn’t want to lose you over a dumb drunk argument,” george said, taking her hand in his, “i’m older now and i know when i should and when i shouldn’t step in. you’re old enough and ugly enough to look out for yourself.”
the pair had been friends since they first started karting against each other. y/n was nervous, lining up against a grid of boys for the first time but george had come right over and introduced himself, prim and proper handshakes and all.
y/n finally found the dress she had been looking for in the worryingly big pile of clothes, jumping up with a pleased grin. she ran to the bathroom and pulled it on, a short black sequin dress with boots and a black leather jacket on top. y/n thought she looked mysterious enough without looking like she was attending a funeral.
“what do you think georgie? does it scream ‘don’t take me out on track or i’ll kill you’ but also a healthy amount of ‘i’m a scared little girl don’t be mean to me or i’ll cry’?”
george was speechless, his mouth open but no words finding their way out. y/n did a little spin but he was still sputtering and running his hand through his hair like a mad man. he cleared his throat and stood up abruptly, “you look amazing y/n, i mean seriously amazing but i just remembered that i think i left the iron on in my room and i don’t want to burn the entire hotel down!”
he rushed towards the door, flinging it open, “williams definitely can’t afford that, i’ll see you later!”
he took off running down the hotel corridor, very nearly barrelling into alex who was on his way to y/n’s room.
“where’s he off to?” alex asked, coming into the room and making his way straight to the mini bar.
“he said he left the iron on in his room? i don’t know. he just started freaking out for like no reason. i just asked him whether this outfit is cute enough for tonight and he just sat there like i told him his whole family is dead and bolted.”
“weird.”
“so weird, right?” y/n made her way back to the bathroom to start her makeup, “i don’t know what came over him, is my outfit really that offensive? alex, you’ll tell me if it’s too much, right?”
“i think it might have been too much for george, but he’s being a weird puritan maniac recently, so?”
y/n poked her head past the door, “you’re so right. he’s posted about a hundred topless photos since making it to formula one but got so angry at me for licking mick’s hand!”
y/n was so close to the point it was right in front of her, but much to alex’s disappointment it looked as if she was just as useless as the rest of them. he tried to hide his annoyance on his face, but y/n still caught onto it.
“did you think that was bad too?! have you people never done tequila shots? so do you think this is too slutty for a driver party?”
alex shot up, nearly spilling his drink all over y/n’s bed, “no! george was being a weirdo about the tequila salt thing, had a proper bee in his bonnet that night. you look great, don’t change. i think he’s going through boy things…”
alex did not sound convinced by his own words, but he would work with it. y/n was confused until alex picked up a pillow and mimed putting it in a very specific spot and it finally clicked.
“he got a boner?!”
alex barked out a laugh, “oh tell the whole floor why don’t you? be quiet!”
y/n could not keep her laughs in, folding over with tears streaming down her face. this would definitely explain the emergency exit.
“you cannot tell him i told you, swear it!” alex hissed, grabbing y/n’s hand, “please, he’ll kill me and you know him he’s weirdly sadistic he’d go all dexter on me!”
the two linked pinky fingers, “i promise to never tell george that you told me he got a boner from me in a leather jacket”
“didn’t have to go into that much detail, but yeah i promise too.”
y/n touched her makeup as alex finished off his drink, “but you’re sure this is okay? everyone knows that the real time you meet the grid is when they’re all drunk.”
“you look great, stop worrying. i think george would agree, little george as well-” y/n pelted a pillow at him.
“i just fixed my makeup, don’t make me cry laugh again!”
y/n slipped her shoes on and the pair made their way down to the lobby and across the street to the bar. it was very laidback, completely empty bar the other drivers and some of their significant others.
“about time you guys turned up!” daniel called out from the table most of the drivers were huddled around.
“sorry all, um, we had something to iron out - ouch!” alex said before an elbow to the side from y/n cut him off. the rest of the table were none the wiser but george was suddenly infatuated with his drink, hoping the small umbrella in the glass could cover his blush.
amongst all of the chaos of welcomes, lance pulled up a chair for y/n and asked what she would be having to drink. “just a tequila sunrise for me lance, if they do them. thank you.”
the canadian gave her a little salute before heading to the bar. pulling up his own chair beside her, alex grumbles a little ‘don’t ask me if i want a drink then’ and gets another shove.
daniel claps loudly, silencing the table. he turns to y/n theatrically, wiggling his eyebrows. “so, to our lonely rookie of the season here, a couple of questions.”
the table all turned to her and y/n let out a nervous chuckle, fiddling with her jacket - where was lance with that drink?
“we won’t be hazing you, no worries. no that’s actually illegal, although i am curious as to your karaoke song of choice… we’re getting off topic! my burning question is… growing up with half of the grid you must have a rolodex of embarrassing stories about them. spill. i’m talking embarrassing falls, pissing in their karts or awkward boners, i want all of it!”
daniel looked at her earnestly, waiting on her response. this was a little overwhelming, lance had returned with her drink, alex was trying to keep his laughs at the mention of boners and charles was fixed on her with a death glare - guess the waterpark story was out of the question.
all of the focus was on her and it was overwhelming. y/n was somewhat used to having people watch her every move, you get used to that as the only girl in paddocks where people are just waiting for you to fail.
“i don’t know if i want to make enemies on the grid this early on,” y/n said, looking shyly at daniel to see whether this would be considered a good enough answer.
“very diplomatic, very diplomatic indeed,’ daniel said, pondering, “you’ll do well with the media with answers like that.”
“you learn quick as a girl in this sport.”
the entire table quietened again, although a lot more awkward this time. great first impression. daniel broke the silence once again, “not that we’re going to haze you, but just out of interest, what IS your go to karaoke song?”
“man i feel like a woman,” y/n answered without hesitation, seeing a wide smile break out on daniel’s face, “i think we’ll get along very well, rookie,” daniel replies. the aussie stands up and drags her to the bar, proclaiming that they ‘simply must do some shots together on account of being his new best friend’. y/n was not complaining, this was the first driver outside of the 2019 rookies and max who was expressing actual interest in friendship.
max had always gushed about daniel during and after their time at red bull together. y/n was surprised she hadn’t seen the dutchman yet that evening, but recalled him saying that he wanted to let her get to know the others, not wanting to hover over her like an overprotective parent.
another figure slipped in beside her at the bar and when she turned she came face to face with none other than sebastian vettel. the german gave her a soft smile and said, “i hope tonight wasn’t too daunting for you, we’re all very excited to have you on the grid, though some more than others.”
y/n raised her eyebrow, imploring him to continue. “the way max insists on praising you at every turn i thought your name was already on the second red bull.”
she let out a short laugh, “max does like talking…”
“oh he’s been showing us your formula two highlights all season, gushing about your lines and how we’ll all have to watch our backs this season.”
daniel finally got their shots and butted into the conversation, “max literally hasn’t shut up since you started in formula two, he’s all in on the y/n train.”
y/n smiled. she knew max was a big supporter of hers but hearing it from others made her heart swell.
the trio headed back to the main group who in the short time at the bar had managed to consume a worrying amount of alcohol. there was something surreal about seeing world champions struggle to string a sentence together or keep their heads up straight.
“oh my god what happened? how are they this fucked? we were gone for like five minutes?”
sebastian chuckled, looking over to fernando who was practically sat on a very bemused kimi raikkonen’s lap, “some of us have tasted the glory of winning the championship, so when you know that your car is nowhere near that this season, you cope in your own way.”
the bar had descended into chaos, looking closer to a renaissance painting than a sophisticated night out amongst high performance athletes. alex was sat in the same seat but now found himself flanked by two of his rookie class who now closely resembles a pair of clingy cats. y/n was sure she even saw lando, for the lack of a better word, nuzzle alex’s neck.
when checo appeared with an entire platter of tequila shots, alex took that as his cue to take lando and george home before they got their hands on any more alcohol.
“do you want some help with them?” y/n asked, watching alex wrangle the two drivers towards the exit.
“no, i can handle them. if you think this is bad, you should’ve seen them last year, proper made a fool of themselves. stay and get to know everyone, soon they’ll be so drunk you’ll have some good blackmail material on them.”
y/n hadn’t thought about that. not that she’d ever blackmail a fellow driver…
“well good luck getting them back to their rooms, see you tomorrow!”
y/n turned back to the mess in the bar. max was pouring pure gin in pierre’s mouth, charles was trying (key word, trying) to slow dance with sebastian despite the only music playing being edm and kevin magnussen was already asleep at the main table with nico hulkenberg and lance stacking coasters on his head.
“enjoying the circus?” a voice asks her from behind, y/n turned to see none other than kimi raikkonen. trying not to show her nerves, y/n took one of the drinks kimi was holding.
“i think i am. it’s a bit overwhelming.”
kimi nodded. there was a silence between them but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“are you excited for your first formula one race?”
“i am. i just want to show mclaren that they made the right decision on me.”
“you’ll be fine, trust me. i watched you in testing. i know that doesn’t mean much when it comes to the actual pace of the car, but you already had good control over the car. have faith in yourself.”
all of the praise from everyone else was nice but to get that many words out of kimi, it all was real now.
“thank you kimi, i hope we get to race this season. you’re a hero of mine.”
“that makes me feel old.”
“oh! i didn’t me too-”
“i’m kidding. most people would’ve chosen seb or lewis as they’re heroes.”
“oh i admire them, but there was only one blonde i loved in formula one.”
kimi let out a little laugh. the two sat there, observing for a couple of moments.
“don’t trust anyone,” kimi said suddenly, turning to y/n. “huh?”
“don’t trust anyone. i’m sorry that it’ll likely be worse for you, but these people they’re not really your friends, not when you’re in the car and everything is on the line. you can’t take it personally but you can prepare yourself. you’re a girl, so people will take their side more often than not. just know you’re here for a reason, they can’t push you around without repercussions.”
y/n took a second to let it sink in. there were things that managers and friends from outside the sport had warned her about, but a reminder from someone like kimi made it really resonate.
“i guess i’ll just have to be so fast that they can’t get near me.”
kimi laughed, properly this time. they clinked their glasses and went back to watching the mess unfold before them.
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yourusername
may 2020.
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liked by alexalbon, lewishamilton and 1,289,409 others
tagged: georgerussell63, fernandoalo_oficial & landonorris
yourusername: that’s one way to get introduced to the grid
view all comments
user1: the way i’d actually give a kidney to have been here
user2: so much i need to know, so little information
user3: george and lando are never getting rid of the lightweight allegations
yourusername: as long as i am living and breathing those allegations will live on
landonorris: and when i sue you for slander
yourusername: come for me baby i know the law
landonorris: bring it on, the mclaren legal team love me
yourusername: they’ll take one look at my camera roll and laugh in your face xxx
landonorris: CAMERA ROLL?
yourusername: sleep well
landonorris: i will ruin your life rookie
user4: mclaren duo you are so precious
user5: now i have them, i can never see them at different teams
user6: they’re my prediction for biggest surprise this season
maxverstappen1: who keeps leaving bottles of gin unattended around me
yourusername: why can’t you control yourself around them
maxverstappen1: gin talks to me like the green goblin mask
yourusername: that much is clear
yourusername: poor pierre was sent into a different dimension that night
pierregasly: still better than my red bull experience
user7: this girl has chemistry with everyone damn
user8: bro sees a girl having banter with someone and loses his mind
user9: this is why the ‘friend zone’ exists because you guys mistake a girl being nice or funny for flirting
alexalbon: i miss out on so much because those dumbasses can’t handle liquor
yourusername: you should’ve just left them to die?
alexalbon: i fear both mclaren and williams know my address
georgerussell63: i don’t know where this is all coming from?
alexalbon: you threw up in the shower?
georgerussell63: i don’t recall this therefore it didn’t happen
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“george got a boner? can i use that as blackmail for a quali tow?” kimi gasped, clutching his metaphorical pearls.
“do not tell him i told you that,” y/n thought for a second, “or you can, i don’t really care.”
the four of them approached charles’ house and could already hear the hustle and bustle from inside. y/n went to ring the bell but kimi grabbed her hand quickly,
“you’re sure this will be okay?”
the italian had a little shake in his voice.
“you’re going to be fine, everyone will love you, okay? stop doubting yourself.”
she finally rung the bell and the group could hear the silence sweep throughout the house. the door swung open to reveal charles who was already pink in the face, telling y/n that the monagasque had already been amongst the drinks.
“well look what the cat dragged in,” charles said looking her up and down. the three behind her were suddenly weary, charles’ face had hardened when his eyes landed on y/n. “i’ve fucking missed you!”
charles pulled her into a tight hug. the world had stopped. y/n hadn’t spoken to charles since the crash and three years of silence was suddenly pouring out of both of them. tears slipped out from both of them, pulling each other so tight like they were trying to fall into each other’s bodies.
“as touching as this all is, it’s fucking freezing out here and i’d love that cocktail i was promised?”
max broke the silence in his typical fashion and charles finally acknowledged the three others. his smile turned wicked when he realised what kimi and ollie were wearing.
“oh mon amis, those suits are just too cute!”
y/n peered over charles’ shoulder with a very clear ‘i told you so’ written on her face. charles pulled on ollie’s hands, muttering about how well dressed his son is, and ushered the rest of them into his home.
kimi, ollie and max continued down the corridor and into the common space with the other attendees but y/n and charles hung back.
“i’m being serious, i really missed you,” charles said, “i really haven’t been the friend i should’ve been during all of this. i know i hurt you and i don’t expect you to forgive me, but know i am sorry, truly.”
the tears had returned to charles’ eyes once again. y/n tried to summon the anger that she had festered in for three years, but here, stood face to face with charles, she just couldn’t. the monegasque looked so wrecked and she knew that wasn’t a lie. y/n, through common sense but also the advice of her therapist, had never seen the race that ended her career. however, in a weak moment of social media addiction, y/n had stumbled upon a clip of charles’ radio. it was a compilation of his radios across the year, including grosjean’s fireball, pierre’s near miss in japan a couple years ago and finally, silverstone 2022.
“holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck! is that y/n?”
“i can confirm it is y/ln, we are waiting for news from mclaren”
“is she okay? has she responded on the radio?”
“no news yet charles, stay in delta and come to the pit lane.”
“anyone but her, god please. please be okay, please, please, please. not another one, don’t take another one.”
shivers had wrung up her spine when she had heard it. the weekend had been so traumatic that she had hardly stopped to think about anyone else. the crash had unleashed such an ugly anger within her, so powerful that just a glimpse of a formula one car made her feel so vulnerable to her emotions. instead of facing it head on, it just felt easier to hide and to try and forget.
“hey, hey,” y/n took charles’ face in her hands, “look at me okay, i have no hard feeling against you. you don’t need to be sorry, these things happen. i did what i thought i had to do and that was hide. was it healthy? no, but i hate that my silence might have made you think that i blame you in any way.”
charles let out a wet laugh and y/n continued, “i heard your radio, for the first time a couple months ago. i know what you’ve been through, i should’ve spoken to you.”
charles shook his head, “you did what you needed to do, i won’t ever hold it against you. i’m just glad you’re here now, we can make up for lost time now. although i am pretty offended that you didn’t come back for me but for this kid?”
“kimi is a lot nicer than all of you dummies,” y/n poked her tongue out, “and once he looks at you like a lil puppy, you can’t say no.”
y/n smiled to herself, and charles replicated it. the two just existed together for a moment, listening to the greetings down the hall. a small shiver of doubt made its way up y/n’s spine. the reunion with charles had gone well, but would everyone else look past her three year silence?
“they’re looking forward to seeing you,” charles said, nudging y/n closer to the action. she took a small breath and made her way to the common area.
all conversation ceased when she took her first step in the room. max, kimi, ollie and alex all smiled at he, trying to ease her into the room. carlos looked happy to see her, but as always there was something off in his eyes, like he didn’t quite trust her and oscar was there? y/n had never met the aussie but had heard he was a little standoffish.
oscar couldn’t even make eye contact with her, he looked anywhere else, charles’ white ceiling suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. that was odd.
“welcome back!” alex yelled, making everyone else jump, “i have missed you so much, so much has happened. please never disappear again!” he said, wrapping her in a hug. y/n snuggled in closer, breathing in the familiar scent of her friend. drawing back she looked up at him with a strange look,
“have you changed your cologne?”
“well, i’d like to think i have changed a lot in three years, but yes i have?”
“do you have a girlfriend?”
“tell me you don’t check my instagram why don’t you? yes i do, you’ll have to come to dinner at some point. lily is very excited you’re coming back, she says we don’t shut up about you.”
y/n was so happy for alex, “you smell like a girl, she’s done wonders for you.”
alex’s smile fell immediately, “i didn’t miss this, you didn’t get any nicer in your break huh?”
“still a bitch i fear.”
everyone was back engrossed in their conversations, with carlos keeping his distance from y/n by busying himself with charles at the bar. y/n saw oscar again, hovering by ollie, trying and failing to conceal his staring.
“is oscar usually this weird with new people?” y/n asked alex, “he’s staring but also can’t make eye contact without looking like he’s going to shit himself.”
“oh he’s got massive survivors guilt, which is a weird way to put it considering he wasn’t in the race that day, but…”
oh. now it makes sense. “i see, i should probably talk to him shouldn’t i?”
“you can if you want to but you also don’t owe anyone anything? it’s your choice.”
y/n looked over again and oscar again quickly diverted his eyes. here goes nothing. making her way to the other group of drivers, oscar started looking for his escape.
“hi guys, are you okay if i steal the aussie for a second?”
the rest of the group didn’t care but oscar sputtered out a, “really? i’m okay, you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to?”
“come on,” y/n took ahold of his arm, “let’s go talk somewhere else.”
the aussie looked nervous but he followed y/n through charles house. after trying a couple doors, the finally found a study and the pair sat down. oscar couldn’t stop fidgeting, he felt the sweat beading at his brow and the collar of his shirt was starting to strangle him.
“do you want to tell me why you’re so nervous?” y/n asked, “as far as i’m aware, you’ve done nothing to warrant this?”
oscar didn’t say anything. he didn’t know how to word it without sounding like an idiot.
“i just thought you would maybe resent me for taking your seat? i’m sorry for being such a weirdo about it. i know it was a dick move from me to not even bring you up but there was this whole thing with mark and zak, but i should’ve listened to myself, i’m sorry…”
it all spilled out at once and oscar just looked at her horrified. did she even know about mark and zak?
“oscar, i don’t resent you for taking the seat. i can’t say i’ve watched much more than just the races, so i can’t say for sure you’re the greatest guy off the track, although the fact you were even invited here tells me so, but you more than deserved that seat. yes, it’s unfortunate the way it became available, but i’ll never resent a racer for following his dreams.”
oscar let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, “thank you, you don’t know the amount of sleepless nights i had after i took the seat. i thought that maybe you would come back and either i’d have to give it up or i’d keep it and stop you from coming back. i mean you’re a hero of mine and all i could think was ‘am i an asshole for taking this from you when you’re still in hospital?’”
y/n sighed, “i won’t lie, it hurt. but not because of you. a full lifetime of work was snuffed out in one second. i understand formula one is a business but i don’t think zak knows that i could hear everything while i was in the medically induced coma.”
oscar’s head shot up at the mention of zak’s name and this told y/n everything she needed to know.
“he was on the phone just five minutes after the nurse told him i’d never be able to get in a formula one car again. my racing body wasn’t even cold yet. i do know it was mark on the phone. i’ve not held it against him, unless there’s something you’d like to tell me?”
was it betrayal if he told y/n? everything had already happened and the truth was y/n knowing wasn’t going to change anything. but if he didn’t say then y/n could decide to go back and watch interviews and videos and see what a big liar he was.
“him and zak had this weird thing they were stuck on. like i said you’re a hero of mine, and i still wanted to honour you in any way i could. i had a plan to have a 13 on my helmet, i even wanted to dedicate my first win to you. but i wasn’t allowed. they said i needed to leave you in the past or it would make me look weak.”
tears were falling down oscar’s face as y/n pulled him into a hug. the aussie shook with the strength of his sobs.
“i’m a grown man, i should’ve told them no, but i had just gotten there. i’m sorry, i wish i had a back bone.”
y/n ran her hands through his hair, comforting the younger driver, “oscar, don’t worry. i don’t take any offence. you forget i raced under zak, i know what an asshole he can be. you don’t have to do anything to make it up to me, just don’t be a stranger in the paddock. i may be there for kimi, but you can still come to me.”
y/n wasn’t sure how lando was treating oscar, had he started off kind with him and flipped on his head as well? it couldn’t hurt to check.
“i know lando can be difficult, so don’t think you’re alone okay? i know how it feels, so come complain to me if you need to.”
oscar laughed, “i know exactly what you’re talking about. did you watch hungary this year? that was a mess, it was so awkward in the garage after that. it’s creepy how he can turn it on for a video right? i don’t know what happened between you but it’s almost like he knew i wanted to dedicate it to you? he asked me like ten times whether i dedicated it to anyone.”
okay, that was a problem. y/n had stupidly thought that maybe lando going cold turkey from her for three years might have made whatever weird vendetta he had against her disappear, or at least lessen.
“if i’m being completely honest, i’m not sure what happened between us. we obviously grew up together and were close from that, we all were, but as soon as the racing started he just switched up, and by the sounds of it, it hasn’t gotten better in my absence.”
the pair moved to the bathroom to get oscar some tissues and make him look a little more presentable. fixing his hair, y/n said, “i’m serious oscar, there’s no hard feelings. i’m proud of you-”
y/n was cut off with some commotion coming from the common area. the pair looked at each other and hurried to the scene of the noise. there stood george and lando, they both looked like they had grown up, lando sporting some facial hair and george in a suprisingly formal getup.
both brits locked on y/n and oscar as they returned.
“so one mclaren driver wasn’t enough for you? you had to go and seduce oscar as well?”
lando accused, a look of pure disgust on his face, “he’s got a girlfriend as well, do you have any respect for yourself?”
y/n burst out laughing, looking bewildered at lando. “is this guy serious?” she asked looking around the room, most of them looking just as shocked as her at his outburst.
“i don’t know what you’re laughing at,” lando said and turned to oscar, “i really thought you’d last more than five minutes mate.”
“lando, i don’t know what you’re problem is, but we were clearing the air about me taking the seat after her crash. you know, we spoke, like normal fucking people. just because you couldn’t spend more than five minutes with the one girl in the sport without wanting to fuck her doesn’t mean i don’t see her as an actual person.”
oscar replied, standing in front of y/n who was shocked but also impressed by the aussie’s take down of his own teammate. lando glared at his teammate, “you know having her on side will do nothing for this bullshit bid you have to be the number one driver this season. in fact i remember her launching a plot like that herself, and look how that ended.”
one second lando was smirking in front of oscar and y/n and next he was on the floor, all courtesy of kimi. the italian was looming over lando, the angriest anyone in the room had ever seen him. ollie tried to grab his hand, but he yanked it back and set his sights back on lando.
“you really are the dumbest person in the world aren’t you?”
lando was speechless, still on the floor.
“she could’ve said so much about you, your team and the bullshit you both put her through, but she didn’t. we all know you were an asshole to her, she could’ve ruined this dumb boy next door act you’ve got going, but she didn’t. so you should think yourself lucky.”
kimi felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see y/n. he stood up, moving away from lando and let y/n lead him towards the exit just as the other one decided to pipe up.
“she’s a bit old for you isn’t she, buddy?” george’s voice rung out, “or are you really going for the max verstappen route, problematic older woman and everything?”
that was a low blow. kelly was a sore subject for max, y/n didn’t really know much about her, just that they got together and broke up during the time that y/n was first moved to london. max had been the only one to know where she was, but that was only months after she had moved. y/n never met her and only heard about her when max had visited and gave her a life update that included a whirlwind romance.
“that’s a bold choice george,” max said, getting in his face, “isn’t kimi like a son to toto? you really think he’s choosing you over him? you were just a bed warmer for him when lewis had pissed him off. we all know he’d choose kimi and well, that he’d do anything for me, so are we really the ones you want to try and go toe to toe with?”
george narrowed his eyes at max, “i went through so much trouble for that girl back then, i hope you’re not getting your hopes up. she’ll just lead you on like she did to us, you’re just a stepping stone to her.”
“i am right here, you know? you don’t have to talk about me like i’m not?”
george’s head whipped around to her direction, “you were fine not talking for three years. why now? why come back now? there’s nothing for you there? or do you have an ulterior motive? are you using kimi to sabotage me?”
y/n let out another laugh in disbelief, “are you being serious right now? you can’t be this seriously delusional. despite popular belief, to you, not everything i do, is to do with you. both of you seem to have such an inflated view of your place in my life, please sleep well knowing i don’t want anything to do with either of you.”
charles interrupted, “i invited you two because i thought you would be happy to see y/n, why are you ruining my night? i brought olives and you’re bringing the mood down!”
“yes, i think it’s time you guys left.” max said, ready to escort them himself, with force if necessary.
the two gave y/n a final dirty look before storming out of charles’ house. y/n didn’t understand how it had gotten so bad between them, she longed for the times when they’d sneak out for ice cream at karting competitions and tell each other ghost stories. she wanted those times back so badly, but with displays like tonights she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. maybe those bridges had burnt the moment her car hit the wall.
the atmosphere in the room was thick, no one knew what to say following what ever they just witnessed.
“i guess we don’t outgrow the pettiness. ever.” ollie said, downing his drink, “if that’s what formula one does to a man i need another drink.”
charles started working behind his home bar and with the silence broken, the conversation started again.
“y/n i’m sorry i brought you back into this. i just wanted to have you as a mentor and try and get you to fall back in love with the sport, i didn’t want to bring you into a civil war where you get accused of seducing everyone.”
“kimi, i am happy to be here and we will work together. they don’t mean anything to me, okay? the things they say is water off a duck’s back for me now.”
“as long as you’re sure, i want you to enjoy it.”
“there’s enough of you i love to stick around. i’ve only known you for a short while, but the way you go for the things you want and stand up for what you believe makes me believe. they don’t matter to us. what matters is you and your car, and we will prove them all wrong.”
max slipped his arm around her shoulder as she spoke to kimi. “do you want to go?”
y/n looked back to kimi, “are you okay if we go? you and ollie can stay and enjoy yourself, rinse charles for as much as he’s worth.”
kimi nodded and hugged y/n. “see you soon, thank you again.”
“no worries, bunny.”
y/n and the dutchman grabbed their stuff and made their way to the door. charles escorted them out, “sorry it became such a downer, but i still liked seeing you again. we’ll have to get lunch some time before testing, arthur has been bothering me about meeting you.”
the pair ventured back out into the wind, a strained silence between them. “you know none of us believe what they said, right?”
“unfortunately, i’m very used to it maxy,” y/n said, leaning into him, “but it doesn’t bother me anymore. the people i care about know me, that’s all that matters.”
“just say the word and i’ll make their lives hell.”
“that’s noble, max, but i’m okay.”
“you let them get away with too much, y/n. seriously, what they just did was fucked up.”
“maybe to them i did do those things?”
“don’t say that,” max said stopping her, “they’re being childish. they can’t act like they have and expect that you’ll just fall into their arms.”
“do you think i’ll fall into your arms?”
“no. maybe? i don’t know, i want whatever you want. you know how i feel about you, but i just want you in my life. you’re the only one who has always really known me. we were so young and you saw me, not my dad and not my driving, but me. i will forever be grateful for you, it’s in your hands.”
“it’s all so confusing, max. if i do anything i just prove their point. at this moment i just need to exist. but i’d like to exist with you.”
“i’d like to exist with you too.”
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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・
fin.
note: it's the drama mick i love it! a big bust up chap for you all, and boy have i been tired this weekend so this took a lil longer than i wanted it to. testing next!!!
taglist: @folkloresreputation @hc-dutch @shimmermotorsport @96mcobo @eclipsedcherry @formulaal @czennieszn @gothicwidowsworld @emily-b @suns3treading @henna006 @kazgirl20 @anotherapollokid @littlegrapejuice @daemyratwst @annimausi @yawn-zi @lulu-1998 @xsilkesworld @justaf1girl @daddyslittlevillain @evans-dejong @abq654 @elizamoe133 @wierdflowerpower @t1nkerbel1 @okcurran @raizelchrysanderoctavius @skepvids @multilovebot @fernandoalonso14 @jules-kup-172 @m4xgirlie @rorabelle15 @minkyungseokie @formula1-motogpfan @peterholland04 @miureiz @freyathehuntress @lighttsoutlewis @aleatorio1234 @chaosandevelyn @blueberry648579 @dog-and-cat-person230 @fastandcurious16 @obxstiles @cosmicwintr @becca388510 @savagittariuspy @tibadi @thisbitxhs-blog @finn-dot-com @scenesofobx @moofilms @alilstressyandlotdepressy @nana-love-bugzzz @mayax2o07 @obsessed-fan-alert
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rafesbabygirlx · 3 months ago
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A Lot of Time has Passed | Part 5
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Series Masterlist | Masterlist
Season 4 Rafe x Maybank reader
Summary: Beginning at the time jump, the Pogues seemingly succeeded at something, Rafe is struggling with making amends and being a better person. JJs sister left the island after returning from South America. Returning after 18 months with a secret.
A/N: after this point you don’t really see Sofia, at least for a while. Maybe at 1 point but I haven’t decided.
I don’t know what Part 2 of the season will bring but from here on out it’s just a rewrite of events that will include Maybank reader instead. Also there’s some use of Y/N here since some conversations don’t happen with her. enjoy :)
2nd note: please let me know if you like this. I love the story telling and building the plot but wanna make sure it’s doing well. Don’t want anyone getting bored :)
Not proofread
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: nothing but soft Rafe tbh and setting up story lines. Next part will be fun
“I’m going to head out for a bit, okay? I have a few things I need to take care of. How about we meet up later at my place?” He asks as you and Rafe made your way down the path. You carried the cozy blanket and picnic basket filled with remnants from your breakfast, while he cradled Vivienne, their bond already evident in the way he held her close.
“Yeah, sounds good,” you say, a broad grin spreading across his face.
He lovingly passed you Vivienne after showering her with a load of affectionate kisses, and then, without missing a beat, he leaned in to give you a quick kiss on the lips. The warmth of that brief connection caught you off guard. You wouldn’t lie; while you had anticipated this moment, you hadn’t expected the domesticity of it all to hit you like this. It felt so natural for him, yet it brought a flurry of emotions bubbling to the surface for you.
The kiss lingered on your lips, and you could feel the warmth emanating from both Rafe and Vivienne, creating an intimate bubble that shielded you from the rest of the world. Rafe's ability to seamlessly blend fatherhood with his charming personality was surprising; he made the whole experience seem effortless, like it was second nature to him.
You couldn't help but marvel at how your relationship had transformed over the course of just a couple of days. Just a year and a half ago, Rafe was simply the bad guy, made to make your brother and his friends lives hell. Now, he was someone who shared quiet moments and laughter with you as a family. Holding the blanket and basket in your arms, you felt an undeniable connection forming. Guilt still creeping in. You wished you allowed him to experience her first year.
As you began to walk away, your mind twirled with thoughts about what the evening might hold. You both had created unforgettable memories together, but this moment felt distinct; it brimmed with the promise of something more profound. Perhaps it was the awareness that you were becoming an integral part of his world—a world filled with simple joys, late-night giggles, and unexpected kisses. As the sun raised above the horizon, painting the sky in beautiful shades of orange, a smile crept across your face at the thought of the future and what lay ahead.
“Say bye dada” you tell V
“Bye dada!” V yells from off the porch
Rafe yells bye back and blows her a kiss. Driving off to do his business as you head inside.
╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮
Rafe returns to his house, his thoughts racing as he walks through the door. On the way there, he texted Sofia, asking her to meet him. The weight of the conversation ahead loomed heavy in his chest.
Sofia arrives shortly after. “Hey, Rafe,” she greets him warmly.
“Hey.”
She steps in close and pulls him into a tight, loving hug, but Rafe doesn’t return the embrace with the same intensity. Her smile falters, and she looks up at him, concern etched across her face.
“What’s wrong? Did things not go well with your daughter?” she asks softly.
Rafe shakes his head. “No, that’s not it.” He gestures for her to sit with him outside by the pool. Once they’re settled, he continues, his voice a little distant. “She’s… she’s perfect. Vivienne. That’s her name. She’s the most perfect little girl to ever exist. She looks just like me. She’s so beautiful, so happy.” His words trail off, but Sofia knows there’s more. She feels a knot forming in her stomach.
“I needed to talk to you about some things,” he adds, his tone turning serious.
“Okay…” Sofia replies hesitantly, her heart beginning to race.
Rafe takes a deep breath. “I want to focus on her. On Vivienne. And… um… I want to focus on my family, with both of them. I never expected things to play out this way, and I’m sorry, but this is what I want. I need to be there for them. We need to end this.”
Sofia’s face falls, the words hitting her like a punch. “Oh,” she whispers, barely audible. Her mind scrambles to make sense of it. She thought what they had was special, that he felt the same. But now, he was going back—back to Y/N, back to his family. “Maybe you should, then,” she adds quietly, trying to maintain her composure. “It’s only right.”
Rafe finally meets her gaze, his eyes pleading for understanding. “It wasn’t planned, okay? You know that. But everything came rushing back—every memory, every feeling. And now that V is in the picture, I can’t deny it.”
Sofia doesn’t speak for a few moments, letting the weight of his words settle. She hadn’t anticipated this. She hadn’t imagined she’d be here, blindsided by the sudden shift in his priorities. She didn’t expect to become a ‘stepmom,’ but she had been willing to sacrifice for him—she had believed in what they had.
But now, as sadness sinks in, so does a flicker of anger. It drags her back to a few days ago, when everything still felt right—before Y/N came back into the picture. She remembers overhearing Rafe talking to Ruthie and Topper, saying she was just a hookup, that he could never be with a Pogue like that. Even though she knew it wasn’t true two times, one for you and the other her, the words had stung. They had left a mark. And now, with this revelation, they hurt even more.
In the days that followed, she had been tempted to meet with Hollis, after her dad suggested it. Initially, she’d rejected the idea because she had loved Rafe. She thought he loved her too. But after overhearing him she met with him. Took the money from her too. she planned to return it not being able to do it. But now, with Rafe pulling away, with him choosing another life—another woman—she has nothing to lose.
“I was thinking about that deal you mentioned,” she says, her voice steadier than she feels. “You should do it. I was hesitant before, but maybe it’s a good opportunity. It could be a way to build something for your daughter.”
Rafe looks at her, surprised by her sudden shift in tone. “Maybe you’re right. I still have to decide, but I’m leaning toward going for it. It could be a good opportunity.” He shrugs, unsure of his next steps.
They sit in silence for a while, the weight of their relationship hanging in the air. Finally, Rafe turns to her. “You have no idea how much you’ve helped me,” he says earnestly. “I don’t want to hurt you. I just think my place is with Y/N and Vivienne.”
Sofia nods slowly, her heart aching. “I understand. You think you’re doing the right thing, and that’s all that matters.” She leans over and presses a soft kiss to his cheek before standing to leave.
Rafe grabs her hand gently. “I’m sorry, Sofia. Really, I am.”
“It’s okay,” she replies, her voice steady but hollow. “But you should definitely take that deal.”
Rafe smiles weakly at her, grateful for her understanding. As she walks away, leaving him alone by the pool, he takes a deep breath, the enormity of the situation sinking in. He knows he’s made his choice, but something nags at him—the way she had pushed the deal so hard. For a moment, it puzzles him, but he brushes it off as her wanting the best for him.
Sitting in the stillness, he lets his thoughts swirl before finally reaching for his phone. After some time alone, he dials your number, needing to see you, ready to move forward with the life he’s chosen.
╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮
You arrive an hour later. V wobbles into the house, running straight to Rafe. “Dada!” You both smile, the word now coming naturally to her. Rafe is completely smitten. She leans in for a kiss, then holds up her stuffed turtle for him to kiss too.
Rafe looks at you with a serious expression. “I broke up with her.”
Startled, you ask, “What?”
“I ended things with Sofia. I know what I want—it’s you and V.”
“Oh… That wasn’t my plan, Rafe. I didn’t want to ruin everything you’ve built.”
“It wasn’t mine either, but I’m sure now. Is this what you want? Please say yes, because I need to show you something.” He steps closer.
“Of course, yes.”
Rafe leads you and V upstairs. It feels strange not being at Tannyhill, a place you knew so well. You stop at a door with a wooden “V” hanging on it. Inside is a complete nursery—books, toys, a beautiful crib, and a cushioned rocking chair. One wall is covered with sea animal wallpaper, the others a clean white.
“I had an interior decorator come yesterday after I found out. I wanted it done quickly. The wallpaper went up this morning. Kelce stopped by to make sure everything was right.”
“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” You pull him in for a kiss and turn to see V already making a mess.
Later, you all head downstairs for dinner. As you eat, Rafe opens up about a deal involving Goat Island, the same place your brother and his friends recently visited.
“What are you going to do?” you ask as he clenches his fist.
“I’m not sure. It could be great—for us, for her.”
“You’ll figure it out. It does seem strange, but maybe Hollis is really looking out for you. I’ll support you no matter what.” You reach for his hand.
“I love you, Banks. You’ve always been the best to me.” Your eyes widen at the old nickname. Smiling softly, you reply, “I love you too, Cameron.”
Taglist-
@maybankslover @eringaitskill @luissa266 @lolll505 @dayyzlol @calaryssia @eg-dr3amer3 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @rafestar @bigbonenative @writtenbyhollywood @livie4lifestarkeyblyth @leilanizcals
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pwr3tties · 2 years ago
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“Hey babe, who’s this?” You asked softly, pressing the phone into Reo’s hands. “Who? Oh, that’s Cammie- or Cameron, Cameron Taylor. She’s my best friend from high school.” He replied calmly, returning to his phone as you hummed. You didn't completely like his response but decided not to push it. He could have friends that were females, no big deal. Right? Right. But you couldn’t shake the thought of this ‘childhood friend’ you’d never heard of before.
Clicking on her icon, you scrolled through her profile, randomly tapping on photos you thought were pretty— or showed signs of your boyfriend cheating, but there was nothing except for the overly nice post and the flirtatious captions she typed tagging @reomikage. You weren’t jealous, no. You were precisely watching out for your boyfriend.
Months went by, and your second-year anniversary poked around the corner. Everything was fine until a rumour spread that ‘Supermodel Cameron Taylor and Soccer Sensation Reo Mikage Were Secretly Dating’ after being seen exiting a fancy hotel together, laughing about something while holding hands.
You better than anyone knew the internet loved to twist things around and make it look one way even though it was another, but the sight of your boyfriend being all ‘lovey dovey’ with another woman churned your stomach. But you didn’t bring this up. You knew what you had signed up for by involving yourself with a professional soccer player and successor.
Today Reo had a big game against PXG, and you surprised him with your presence after declining, saying you had an important conference that day. Luckily your boss also was a fan of your boyfriend’s team and let everyone out early to watch the game.
Settling in your seat in the front row behind Manshine’s bench, you notice a flawless brunette waving toward none other than your boyfriend, who was waving right back at her. You almost vomited at their interaction but retained yourself. After all, she was his best friend.
The game ended in a win for Manshine City, and you rushed to their locker rooms to congratulate Reo, but someone had already beat you to it. “[Y/N]? Is that you? I thought you said you couldn’t come?” Stepping closer to you, Reo reached out his hand to hold you, the same hand he crested his ‘best friend’ with.
“Suprise..!”
“Reo, is this your girlfriend? She doesn’t look like I’d imagined.. but still! She’s.. cute?” It would be an understatement even to say that she insulted you all while your boyfriend stood there watching with no intention of defending you.
Uncomfortable enough, you excused yourself, telling Reo you’d meet him at home, allowing the two to talk.
“Reo—“
“—Can’t right now. I’m going out with Cameron!” Without letting you finish, he slammed the door shut, rushing to his car.
“.. I love you.”
“Reo, it’s 3 AM right now. Where are you coming from?”
“Sorry, Cameron’s party lasted longer than anticipated.” He replied, slipping off his shoes. “I told you not to wait up for me.”
“That’s beside the point. You didn’t call or text to tell me where you were or that you weren’t hurt or missing—“
“[Y/N]! I’m tired. Can we go to bed, please?”
“.. I think I’ll sleep down here tonight.” You replied, returning to the couch, attempting to make it more suitable to sleep on.
“If that’s what you want. Go ahead.”
“Reo, we need to talk.” You demanded as he picked up his jacket off the rack. “Can it happen after? I’m hanging out with some old friends.” He pled, twisting the knob, ready to leave.
“Reo, I’m breaking up with you.”
Silence..
“You’re what? No, no, no, why?” He finally turned to look at you after what felt like months.
“I can’t do this anymore. You love Cameron. Everyone sees and knows it. I can’t be stuck as the second option forever.” You said, staring him right into his eyes, the same ones that used to look at you so lovingly.
“Second option? Cameron? Baby, no, Cameron’s only a friend!”
“Please stop lying to yourself. Mikage, I think it’s better if we stopped seeing each other for good.” That was the last thing you said before leaving the house while Reo ran upstairs searching for your things.
Nothing. Everything was gone. How did he not notice? How could he be so foolish and let someone so loving and kind like you go..?
How did he lose the one person who wasn’t with him for fame or riches? How did he manage to lose the person ‘he wanted to spend the rest of his life with’?
How did he manage to let go of you?
His ‘so-call’ best friend, that’s how. Taking a step back, he recalled all the moments that he failed to show up for you and instead went to spoil his ‘best friend.’ All the moments that he would rather spend millions to get attention from the supermodel than to freely receive affection from the woman he had at home.
The times he neglected you, thinking you were wrapped around his finger like everyone else, forgetting you were a real human being with emotions, needs and a heart.
If he could, he’d turn back time and fix all the moments he messed up. But he can’t, so now he has to settle for stalking your Instagram as he watches you and your fiancé slowly dance in your kitchen in your share house. As your new love stares at you as he should have. As your fiancé loves you the way you deserve to be loved.
Now he is, at your wedding, staring at you as you walk down the aisle with your cousin throwing flowers before you as you stop at the altar and wrapping your hands around your husband’s neck while tippy-toeing to kiss him.
Except, it’s not Reo. It’s his best friend, Nagi Seishiro.
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skylarsblue · 2 years ago
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✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes Nine✦
(Sexual Implication) Ghost, trying to be sexy by whispering: Gaggin’ for it, aren’t ya, love? Soap: Nope. Ghost: No? Soap: I don’t gag on anything. Ghost: *404 Error* Soap: …Ghost? Si? Simon, are you alright?
-- Y/N: Let’s play a word association game! Ghost: Why? Y/N: Because I saved your ass last mission and I’m bored, so you owe me. Ghost: *sigh* Fine. Y/N: P e r f e c t . Gaz: ?? Y/N: Cold. Ghost: Winter. Y/N: Spring. Ghost: Mattress. Y/N: Soft. Ghost: Comfortable. Y/N: Pleasant. Ghost: Sunset. Y/N, With a shit eating grin: Beautiful. Ghost, unconsciously: Johnny- Y/N: YES Gaz: OHHHHHH Ghost: Soap: *gasp* Simon!~ Ghost: I’m going to go crash in a heli. Y/N: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT-
-- Alex: Bitch do you want me to jump across this table? Because I don’t have all day for this. Norris: You feeling froggy? Leap. Alex: Okay, well here I come- Farah: Alex no, no- hOLD OFF
-- (NSFW Joke) Y/N: Oh sorry. I almost drank out of your cup. Soap: Wh-Just go ahead, it won’t matter! Y/N: Well I- Yeah no, you’re right. I’ve drank out of your cups dozens of times. Soap: We’ve sucked the same dick- Y/N: That’s a good point! Ghost: ….*sigh*
-- Gaz: What kind of girl do you like? Soap: My wife. Gaz: And you? Ghost: Johnny’s wife. Gaz: OH- Price, knowing they recently started a poly situation: Pfft-
-- (Use of the word pussy because haha) Gaz, filming: Pffft- Soap: Shhshh- Y/N in the hallway: FORTY THREE FUCKING CENTS! AHHHHH Soap: *wheeze* Y/N: I NEED A SUGAR DADDY!! Gaz: PFFFT- Soap: I can’t breathe- Y/N: At this rate I’m ready to plaster my fuckin’ pussy on the sidewalk for some sPARE CHANGE! Gaz & Soap: *doing that silent cackle thing and smack each other in the arm* Ghost, leaning into the room: What the f- Y/N: SPAARE CHANGE, SPARE CHANGE! ANYONE GOT ANY SPARE CHAAANGE?! Gaz: *coughing* Soap: Steamin’ Jesus I’m fucking crying- Y/N, passing by the room: 🎵Walkin’ in a winter wonderlaaaand🎶
-- Y/N: Would you love me? Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Would I love you if…? Y/N: nO ThAt wAs tHE QuesTiOn-
-- Y/N: Pretty boy! With me I said! Rudy: Rudy: Rudy: Oh I’m pretty boy! Y/N: Yes! Oo that came out a bit quick- (Also works with Soap & Gaz, honestly)
-- (THIS IS A CONCEPT IM TOO WHIMPY TO WRITE, SO HAVE IT HERE! THIS COULD WORK WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS Also, NSFW warning) Ghost: I don’t miss. Y/N, on his ear piece: Never? Even with distractions? Ghost: *turns his scope* Not ever. *just about to take a shot* Y/N: Hmm…what if I went… Mm Simon~ Ghost: *misses* Y/N: Ya missed. Ghost: Cheeky bitch…
-- Gaz: Alright, so, since we’re now in America and we have some time to kill, I went and I got you something. Y/N: Aww Gaz, you really didn’t have to- Gaz: *puts down their Whataburger order* Y/N: OH MY GOD Price: Really? Gaz: *shrug* Soap: *snickering as Y/N Fucking demolishes some fries* Y/N, having the time of their life: Garrick you ever need your dick sucked, a dead body buried, a beer or whatever, you call me. I got’chu Gaz: BAHA- Soap: *wheeze* Ghost: Are you fucking crying? Y/N with their mouth full: I missed it so much.
-- (Team bonding exercises) Soap: You’re a football player, it’s in ya blood! Gaz: That’s racist. Soap: Your soul? Gaz: That’s racist! Soap: …your eyes? Gaz: That’s gay- Soap: That’s homophobic. Gaz: That’s black. Soap: That’s racist!! Gaz: Damn- (this one is extra funny since Gaz is now confirmed LGBT)
-- Gaz: You overrated little twink! Soap: Hey I am a TWUNK, alright?! That is a combination, twink, and HUNK, get it?? Hunk-
-- Soap: Hey~ Fem!Y/N: You’re Gay. Soap: …oh yeah. Soap: *looks at Ghost* Soap: Hey.~ Ghost: *sigh*
-- Soap: I’m gonna have to meet men lying down. Y/N: …I thought’cha did?? Soap: OI!
-- Soap: Everyone says what a giving person I am! Y/N: He’s talking about when you’re in an upright position.
-- Graves: What if there’s a connection? Y/N: I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.
-- Shepard: Now you’re always ornery, rude, unpleasant, and sometimes downright mean. That’s part of your charm. Y/N: Thank you, you colluding-county-hopping-idiotic-relic. Price: *pride*
-- Alex: Oh my god, how are you such a good driver? Soap: Because there’s illegal shit in here. Alex: Soap: Because if I don’t use my turn signal, we’re both gonna do fifteen. Because I am going to lie and say yours. Alex: ….. Soap: Put your seatbelt on, sweetheart. Alex: *clicks it in places* Soap: You are not safe!
-- (Sucking dick joke) Kidnapper: You’re gonna do as I say or I will make you regret ever being born. Y/N: Oh please, I’ve sucked dicks more intimidating than you. Soap: Oh this is why Simon was the way he was after we rescued you both last time.
-- Soap, shoving marshmallows in his mouth: This isn’t very ha-*chokes* MILF!Y/N, across the fucking base: ….*mom instinct* Price: ??? Ghost: Uh- Y/N: Something just happened. Kyle: PFFT-
-- MILF!Y/N: *letting Soap & Gaz lean on her while Price and Ghost stand close behind* Untrue. I’m a mother now. It’s really changed my perspective. Graves: And do you find it hard juggling life and a career? Y/N: You can juggle these nuts.
-- Soap: *rambling* Soap: Agh, sorry, I’m just goin’ on and on- Ghost: Oi, keep talking before I kick your ass. Soap: ….. Gaz: See? This is exactly what I m-where the fuck are these flower petals coming from?? ARE THOSE SPARKLES??
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avocad1s · 2 years ago
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Bring Back What Once Was Mine
Chapter Summary: You learn of recent events that occurred in Teyvat and Lumine and Nahida search for your whereabouts.
Characters Mentioned: Nahida, Lumine, and some other surprises
Note: Part one did way better than I was expecting, thanks so much for all of the love on it :>
Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You’ve been warned. Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader
Part One Part Two (You are here!) Part Three
This is partly beta read but it’s also the middle of the night and I’m half sleep so… yeah :)
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At the same time, in another nation.
Despite not being the God of Wisdom, Morax, going by the name Zhongli now, would consider himself intelligent.
Yet this was the first time in centuries that he had felt this conflicted.
When his God first returned he was overjoyed, finally he would be able to talk with them again. Yet that feeling of ecstasy didn’t last long, soon he noticed something odd about their behavior.
At first he brushed it off, The Divine One was gone for a while and maybe during their journey the activities they used to enjoy didn’t make them happy anymore. Yet it was as if their entire personality had changed and he couldn’t help the feeling that kept growing in the back of his mind.
Doubt.
If anyone else knew about this, he knows for a fact he would be replaced and possibly killed by The Divine One themselves. So he pushed this feeling down, pretending that nothing was amiss for as long as he could.
Well until he decided to vacate his duties as the Geo Archon.
With the help of the Traveler he had planned his own funeral, and right after, he gave his Gnosis to the Fatui.
Even though the Traveler has questioned why he had given away his Gnosis to the nefarious group, she quickly let it go once Zhongli had explained the contract they had made. Despite not knowing the true details of the contract.
-
“So in exchange, you want my Gnosis?”
“Indeed. I think that’s a fair exchange, don’t you?”
“I agree… I accept the terms of this contract…”
“If things go as planned I will send one of my Harbingers to collect your Gnosis, Morax.”
-
Zhongli shakes his head clearing his mind of the conversation he had with the Tsaritsa in the past. He sips his tea mindlessly listening to his boss go on about another two for one deal she had thought of.
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In Sumeru
“Where could they have run off to?” Paimon groans, “Paimon is getting super tired.”
“You don’t even walk, you float.” Lumine retorts a deadpan look on her face.
The fairy scoffs, “floating gets tiresome too you know!”
Lumine decides not to respond to Paimons defense on being tired, instead she looks down at Nahida who was walking closely next to her.
“Hey Nahida…” Lumine begins. “When you said you had your own suspicions, what did you mean?”
The Dendro Archon’s steps falter, “Traveler I have a lot of trust in you. You saved me from the Sages and done so much more for Sumeru and because of this I’ll tell you.”
Lumine stops walking putting her full attention on her. Paimon, who was just as curious, stops as well.
“Not long after you saved me and I noticed I had missed the descent of The Creator, I went into Irminsul to see what memories there was of them so I knew more about them.”
“Wait, Irminsul has memories of The Creator?” Paimon gasps.
Nahida nods, “Yes, The Creator is the one who made Teyvat after all. Anyways-“ The Archon brings her hand up to her chin, “All of the memories Irminsul had were complete contradictions to how they are now. The only thing that is the same is how they look.”
Lumine’s eyes widen, “so do you think… that the one we’re looking for is the true Creator?”
The girl let’s out a sigh, “Truthfully, I want to talk to them and get a read on them myself. There is a possibility they are the true God .”
“Does anyone else know about this? The Akademiya?”
Nahida shakes her head quickly, “This is very sensitive information and it could put others lives at risk, but I know that if I’m correct, you’d be the best one to help me.”
Lumine nods trying to ignore the feeling of dread crawling up her back.
“We should probably keep moving.”
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Sumeru was much different than the last time you’ve seen it.
Besides it being more advanced, it gave off the feeling that it was more peaceful. Maybe the citizens finally started dreaming.
You let out a huff as you stare down at a river you had to cross. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem since you would just use your abilities to do what you needed, but you were trying not to use your powers at all.
When you had gave out the Gnosis to the Seven Archons, you gave them a bit of your grace which is how they became Gods in the first place. Not only did the Gnosis give them the power to wield elemental energy without a vision but it also gave them a closer connection to you.
So anytime you use your abilities, the Archons would know.
You reach down pulling off your shoes, it was already annoying that you had to walk, the last thing you want to do is deal with wet shoes.
“Hey!” A high pitched voice called out, “I think I found them.”
You let out another sigh recognizing the voice instantly. It was that weird… floating… creature that tagged along with that outlander. The sound of hurried footsteps caused you to turn around.
You were right. It was the blonde girl and her companion but this time they were with someone else?
Your eyes widen a bit, but not enough to give away your shock.
This girl with them was definitely one of the Archons, the Dendro one to be exact. Yet this wasn’t the Dendro Archon the last time you had came to Teyvat so that must mean…
“We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Lumine says in between breaths.
You smile, “I appreciate your care, but you didn’t have to go all out of your way just because you found me in the desert. I feel fine no-“
“I met The Creator.” Lumine interrupts, “you two share the same face.”
Well damn, you didn’t keep this a secret for very long.
“So you know…” you say calmly to them. They all share glances with each other then look back at you.
“How is that possible?” Paimon asks, “how can two Creators exist at the same time?”
You drop your shoe’s sliding them back on before crossing your arms, “well I’m guessing since you’re not attacking me or trying to arrest me you have your doubts about the ‘Creator’… I’m guessing that it’s Kusanali’s doing.”
The Archon gives you a perplexed look, “you know my name?”
You nod. “Of course I do, with my connection to Teyvat it would only make sense, right?”
Well there was no point in acting ignorant now, they had already confronted you with the information.
“So…” you drag out, “why did you come all the way out here to find me?”
Lumine leans back and forth on her feet awkwardly, “well actually The Creator…er-“ she was hesitant, as if she didn’t know what to call them, “they asked me to bring you to them.”
You nod understandingly, “and are you going to do as they asked?”
Lumine looks down at Nahida then back at you, “well after talking with Nahida, I have my doubts if they are truly who they say they are.”
You want to smile, but fight it. It seems that the God of Wisdom is still living up to the reputation. Even if it is someone else.
“Well I guess there’s no reason to lie anymore. I am who you believe but I have no way to prove it to you yet. It would make my presence more…noticeable to others.”
Nahida gives you a smile, “I believe you. Proof isn’t necessary.”
Lumine and Paimon whip their head to stare at the white haired girl, “what do you mean proof isn’t necessary? You just said-“
“I’m know.” She interjects, “but now that I am standing here face-to-face with them. I can feel the special connection that Irminsul and the scriptures deep within the Akademiya we’re talking about.”
Nahida looks back at you and continues, “Lumine, I’m not sure if you feel it but standing here with them now I feel a warmth that I don’t get from the one on the Throne. Not to mention that not a single monster had attacked us since we had gotten into a certain radius of them.”
Lumine’s jaw drops a bit as she watches Nahida give you a small bow a look of guilt in her eyes. “I apologize for my foolishness, I should’ve known that they weren’t who they say they were.”
This time you don’t fight the smile from forming on your lips, “you don’t have to apologize, whoever they are, them pretending to be me was supposed to be uncanny. If the Archons could tell from one look that they wasn’t The Creator then I doubt they would’ve tried.”
Lumine was still a bit unconvinced. She couldn’t trust Gods that easily since one had taken her brother away from her. However she does trust Nahida and if Nahida believes you are who you say, she will go along with it too. She hopes that she’ll have the time to ask you about the unknown God or even Khaenri'ah.
“So there’s actually something I wanted to ask you…” you sit down in the soft grass crossing your legs. “Being an Archon, I’m guessing you spent lots of time with the one on the throne right?”
Nahida nods.
“Could you tell me… have they changed anything?”
It was silent for a moment as the God of Wisdom hesitates to answer your question.
“Actually there is one thing.”
You perk up giving her your full attention.
“They want to invade Snezhnaya… They are trying to get the other Archons to declare war on the nation.”
“What!” You exclaim, “why? Why would they do that.”
“Well the Cryo Archon, the Tsaritsa, had closed off her nation a few years ago and won’t let anyone in, even them. No one is for sure why, but when one of her Harbingers were in Sumeru I tried to ask him and he said ‘we will all know eventually’”
“Oh Paimon remembers him,” you notice her shudder at the thought, “he was super creepy and dangerous!”
You let out a breath bring your hand up to you mouth, “I have to act quickly then. I can’t let that happen… Teyvat has already lost enough.” Your voice softens at the end, since you were mostly talking to yourself but judging from the looks on the girls faces, you assume they heard you.
“Is there anyway we can help?” Lumine asks suddenly. She didn’t even realize the words had left her mouth until it was too late, almost as if she had no control over herself anymore. Like she had the dying urge to help you.
You stare at her, “I’ve never met anyone who wanted to help a world they’re not even from. You’re different than others I’ve met.”
Your voice was so genuine and sweet that Lumine couldn’t help the smile that went across her face or the warm feeling the enveloped her at the sound of your praise.
“Well there is something you could do… all of you.” You stand from your spot on the ground, dusting any dirt off your clothing.
“Go along with the False Creator, make them believe you are loyal to them.”
“How can we do that?” The Traveler questions, “they said to bring you back.”
“Oh that’s right…” you mutter, “tell them I’m dead.”
“You want us to what?” Paimon shrieks.
“If the False Creator believes I’m dead they’ll stop looking for me and then no one else will be aware of my existence.”
“Wait, what are you going to do?” Nahida says.
“I’m heading to Liyue.” You simply explain.
“Alone?” Lumine says, “I can go with you. A lot of people trust me in Liyue.”
You give her a smile, despite how reserved she seemed to be when you had first told them about your true nature. Now she was basically jumping at the idea of helping you, maybe you had a stronger affect on her than she wants to admit.
“Thanks but I’ll be fine. I’m used to traveling alone anyways.”
The Traveler deflates a bit when you decline but nods.
“I’m counting on you… Lumine, Nahida, and Paimon.” You confess as you walk back toward the body of water you had plans to cross until they had interrupted.
The group of girls watch you walk off, once you were out of sight, they turn around heading back towards Sumeru City.
“What are we going to do now.” Paimon says once they start walking back.
“You two should tell the False Creator that they are dead, I’m going to enter Irminsul and see if I can find anything that will help.”
Lumine nods.
Once again the Traveler was thrown off their journey of meeting the Seven, but for once, she actually didn’t mind it one bit.
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Note: I got a bit carried away with this part… and this isn’t how I wanted to end it originally. But I’ll just add that to part three instead.
© avocad1s please do not plagiarize or post to any other website
Taglist: @esthelily
if you’d like to be added, you can send an ask or just comment below. :>
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fallingrealms16 · 1 month ago
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CAITVI FIC REC LIST PART 2 (???) <3333
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MUAHAHAHAHA I’m baaaaaack ;)
Gonna keep this personal note quick:
Here is the wonderful part 2 out of Violyn fanfics, only the best of the best that I have read! Lots of stories + another note at the end, make sure you read that to not miss any upcoming content <3
Reminder‼️ pretty please read all the tags on each fic before reading as I am not responsible for any emotional trauma you may experience ^3^ (more notes at the bottom ty, ily <3)
NOW let’s get cracka lackin🤚🏼
While you’re down there, being a doll by Greed
4.8K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT//
“But I don’t need to be there to know that your panties are soaked right now," Vi said, her voice sending a thrill down Caitlyn's spine. "Go ahead, tell me I'm right."
You’re Mine Now by YourSinfulScribe
10K Words // 4 Chapters // COMPLETED?
//EXPLICIT//
Vi is an astute and expert smuggler, and although she has not had the best of luck lately, she has always known how to make good decisions that have helped her survive.
However, ignoring rumors and advice, she enters a mansion that, although it seems ordinary at first glance, hides something that Vi could never have imagined.
Vampire Cait x Human Vi
Coming home to you by mkhhhx
20K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT//
“You are not taking good enough care of yourself,” Caitlyn starts, looking towards the fountain. She’s lost weight and her cheeks are hollowed, the knuckles of her hand too pronounced into Vi’s grasp. “I need you now, more than ever, Violet.”
“You have me,” Vi says, as a matter of fact. As if she has anyone else to live for, to give her loyalty to. “In any way you’d want me.”
this one is so broken and tentative it actually ruined me btw. Literally as I type this shite I’ve also got it open on my computer STILL reading because it’s that good—I didn’t have to finish it to recommend it
When It Rains, It Pours by SarcastCity
22K Words // 4 Chapters // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT// SarcastCity on X
Caitlyn's shower breaks, and Vi's the sexy plumber who comes out to fix the problem.
Place Your Bets by ChemistryGod
25K Words // 6 Chapter // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT//
Vi's an up-and-coming pro-boxer. Her first match is against former heavyweight world-champion Sevika. Vi needs the money to move up the social ladder, and with her pro-status comes better training. Caitlyn is new in town and they hit it off at a lesbian bar. Vi, however, never could have guessed that their jobs would put their newfound relationship in a tight spot.
Nothing Personal, It’s Just Business by second_hand_feels
28K Words // 5 Chapters // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT//
“Not gonna lie,” the smooth voice announces down the alleyway, “whatever you’re doing, it looks hot as hell.”
Caitlyn just freezes, taking a moment to assess the situation. Gaze flicking up to the voice, it’s the woman, one of Demarco’s enforcers, standing at the mouth of the alleyway and fuck.
Fuck for so many reasons. Notably, she can’t be fucking this up this quick, but also, fuck, she’s just so hot.
Catvi Undercover Cop/Mafia AU
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P.S. extra bonus one shot fix it fic recommendation <3
Sweet, like a cupcake by aniyahsheree
2.7K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED
//EXPLICIT//
Vi pulled back slightly, her lips quirked into a playful grin. "Told you," she murmured, brushing a stray strand of hair from Caitlyn's face, "you're sweet—like a cupcake"
Next one will be slightly longer fics…like 28K words+ ✅ but jumps to more than 55K words+ very quickly!
Pretty plsssss send in recs too! I’m always looking for stuff to read and also recommend for others so if you know of a good fic send it in <33
MUAHAHA OKAY NOW IM DONE ‼️
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kaitsawamura · 10 months ago
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-> somebody come get her (she's dancing like a stripper)
-> SUMMARY
You have bills to pay. That's the only thing on your mind when you go in for your shift at the strip club. The only thing on your mind until you see Daichi.
Daichi doesn't expect to find you, the girl of his dreams, at the strip club. In fact, he's 99% certain he shouldn't be here. But now he can't stop thinking of all the things he'd let you do to him.
Will your mutual attraction pay off for the both of you?
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-> STATS
Pairing: Daichi Sawamura x Stripper!Reader (get that bread!)
Rating: M for Mature, MDNI
Warnings: My take on a corruption kink except Daichi's the one getting corrupted
Tags: Corruption, strangers to lovers, smut I tell you, filthy filthy smut with my husband, strip club au, oral (m receiving), p in v, creampie, a bit of choking (like a tiny bit), hair pulling, nasty nasty f*cking with my husband, sex in public (sorta, it's in a public restroom), a little dominant confident Reader (if I missed anything y'all can let me know in the DM's)
Word Count: 6.3K
Author's Note: I knew the moment I saw Mint's post . : HERE : . that I had to write something about it. They obligingly gave me the go ahead to be inspired so off I went a-writing. Obviously, this might be considered mild corruption by some but to me? This was like I went into a blackout and woke up not knowing what year it was. So, here you go, enjoy some nasty filthy smut with my love!
-> LINKS
Main Masterlist
HQ Masterlist
Playlist
Moodboard
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“Rent’s due on Monday,” your roommate reminds you, concern masked with sympathy clear on her face. She’s not trying to be mean or overbearing but damn it, the stress of the situation makes you want to snark back. But you don’t.
“Do you have your half?” She nods. You nod back decisively. “I’m working tonight. Fridays are good days to work. It’s my first one without shadowing anyone. I’ll have the rest of my half in tips, don’t worry.” Her face brightens as she pours herself a glass of orange juice, sunlight streaming in the kitchen window of the tiny two-bedroom apartment you share with her.
“Thank god. The landlord’s being an ass again. We’ve been late one time. I have half a mind to give him a list of all the things wrong in this shithole instead of the check.” You roll your eyes conspiratorially but in reality, you don’t know if you’ll make your half in tips or not. Maybe your boss will give you an advance. You’ll talk to him tonight. He was surprisingly reasonable so the odds were at least in your favor.
Either way, you’ll get the money. You just hope you’ll be able to put the nervous energy thrumming through your veins to good use.
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Daichi Sawamura should not have come here tonight. The guys in the office had convinced him, said there was a new pretty girl who was exactly his type. But this place was not the sort he was used to coming to. It wasn’t that this establishment was a bad one or that he had any problem with it; people had to make money how they could. Empowerment and autonomy and all that. It was more that he felt a little inadequate if he was being completely honest with himself. He wouldn’t know what to do with someone from here. He was used to good girls, the ones who had a routine and didn’t like anything too kinky. Which was also fine. But there were things he wanted to try, had a suspicion he would like that he just couldn’t ask of anyone he’d been with. He scrubbed a hand over his face, realizing the conversation he was having completely in his head was stressing him out.
“Dai, bro, just relax. She’s pretty. You better tip her good but you don’t have to talk to anyone but me and the bartender if you don’t want to. Just enjoy the show.” Kuroo smirks at his friend; it has been a long week. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve to wind down. Part of him just wishes he was doing it in the comfort of his home, with his favorite ramen from around the corner and a good movie. But who knows, maybe he’s getting complacent.
So he sits in the seat Kuroo has pulled out for him, a front-row spot directly in the middle of the runway. Right in front of the center pole. The seats are comfortable and he’s got a whiskey neat in his hands. He can feel a little of the stress release from the muscles in his traps, can feel his jaw unclench just in the slightest as the first warm sip of whiskey flows down his throat.
This is fine, he reassures himself, pushing work from his brain. Kuroo takes a sip from his own drink, a fruity one that he insists is the most delicious ever but is just a little too sweet for Daichi. The place is in a lull right now, preparing for the next act. But soon there’s a growing murmur from the back. Someone whistles, and a few others catcall. Daichi bristles just a bit, but he can’t even see anything until you hit the steps and it’s then that Kuroo elbows him.
“That’s her,” he says, raising his voice so Daichi can hear over the now thrumming bass. He feels it in his toes, in his chest, in his head. But your steps, the bounce of your tits in a skimpy bright blue bikini top, he feels in his dick. It barely covers anything, just like the matching bottoms. Cute little bows keep them on your hips and your heels are a deep black. As you get closer, your walk slow and sensuous, he can see the peep toe and your fresh French manicure poking through. He tries to adjust his navy suit pants with little success. He’s in so much fucking trouble.
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You strut up the steps, the blinking LED strips embedded into the floor blinking in rhythm with the bass and the rhythm of your hips. You put a little bit of extra attitude into the sway tonight, praying to any higher power that will listen that tonight will be a good one for tips, even though it’s your first show without any supporting performers. Part of you gets it; you’re new. The owner has to make sure you know how to use those doe eyes and amazing tits properly. The other part of you, the one that knows you’re hot and knows exactly what you’re doing, wanted to smirk a little when your boss had said you wouldn’t get a Friday on your own until you’d completed two weeks of bartending and shadowing.
Your hard work has paid off though, and when you take your place at the center of the runway, you know you have your audience hooked even before dancing. There’s one guy in particular, right below you. He got arguably the best seat in the house along with his friend. You’ve seen the friend before, all confidence, slicked-back black hair, and a steamy attractive smile. Your coworkers say he’s pretty regular and always tips well. Thank god. The one next to him though, you don’t know anything about him except for the fact that the five stages of something flow across his face as you make eye contact with him. The low lighting does nothing to hide the blush flushing from the open neck of his crisp white button up to his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. He’s got a wad of cash already set casually on the bar top in front of him.
You smile, bright and unguarded, knowing. You’ll have the rest of Monday’s rent if he’s an indication of the rest of the customers that will be coming in tonight. He turns away, uncomfortable. Aw, how sweet. So unlike some of the slimy patrons you’re used to. Something you don’t like trips low in your belly. The biggest rule was no sex with any of the customers. It was in place for a reason and a majority of the time was a good one. You remind yourself of it as the song for your first dance starts playing over the speakers.
Buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it
Is you fuckin’? Two shots, fuck it
You take a deep breath, hands on the shiny silver pole, and wrap one leg around it. The metal is cold to the touch but something else has goosebumps crawling up your bare skin. When you spin, turning in the new guy’s direction, your suspicions are confirmed that the feeling is not the rest of the eyes on you but his. And his are suddenly, somehow, the only eyes you want to perform for. So you do.
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Daichi can feel Kuroo snap to attention next to him; he can’t blame him. You’re stunning and you know it. You look like maybe you shouldn’t know how to do this so well, but none of that matters as all coherent thoughts leave Daichi’s head when you spin and drop, rolling your hips so your ass faces him. You turn and look at him as you rise slowly, a deliciously naughty smile still all over that pretty little mouth. He rushes to take a sip of his drink, drums his fingers on the bartop, runs them through his hair, anything to occupy his hands. Because he knows the only place they really should be is all over you. Oh, the things he would let you do to him. He’d do anything for you. He takes another gulp of whiskey, disappointed when he drains the heavy glass.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. He knew you were making eye contact with him but when you get on all fours and crawl to him like some lethal jungle cat, the end of the song nearing, he knows he’s in for it. And he’s okay with that. Any doubts he had, about being here at least, have vanished completely. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him but he leans forward to meet you where you are at the edge of the stage. The crowd is roaring around him, the cheers only growing louder at the chemistry shooting like electricity through the air between the two of you. They’re jealous cheers he thinks, although he’s sure as hell not looking away long enough to check anyone’s expressions to confirm.
“Got anything good for me, pretty boy?” Your voice is pitched low as you blink big eyes at him, a smirk playing on your lips. Because, goddammit, he is pretty. Prettier than any other patrons you’d ever catered to. You would not mind if he came to be one of your regulars, regardless of any funds that might be exchanged. You would not mind if he came regularly—in your cunt, on your ass, on your tongue… A girl could take her pick with a man like him. Thick dark hair, glittering brown eyes, full lips. A barrel chest and wide shoulders to boot. No sex with the customers, no sex with the customers, no sex with the customers…
You watch, heat pooling low in your belly, as he unbinds the cash you had noticed earlier. You can’t quite figure him out. Because he’s making eye contact with you as he spreads the folded bills, licks his thumb, and pulls out two crisp Benjamins but there is a nervous tremor in his large hands as he passes the bills to you. Your eyes widen, the act dropping momentarily before you catch yourself and push out your bottom lip in a pout.
“Hm, a girl should get a little more than that for such a good performance, don’t you think?” You are completely used to this, the schpeel. You’ve done it thousands of times at the last place you worked and hundreds more at this club. It’s part of the persona within these walls. Mystery man is apparently not used to acting this way. You can see the war within him as you take the bills and he leans back, trying to be casual but every line of him is taught like a rubber band about to break.
“You here all night?” Don’t give anyone your schedule. If they like you enough, they’ll figure it out on their own by being a regular paying customer. You nod, liking this new game. Toeing around something you would normally consider dangerous, if only for all the variables far out of your control. But that makes it all the more fun, especially when he clicks his tongue behind his teeth and replies “Good, then so am I. I have more where that came from. Do you?”
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Kuroo is watching the interaction with a gaping mouth. Daichi doesn’t have a clue where this new side of him is coming from. Except. Except he does. And it feels damn good. Despite being sure it is glaringly obvious that he is leaping so far out of his comfort zone, you seem to be very receptive. He shouldn’t be entertaining the idea of staying all night. He could use some sleep. But he could also use that mouth around his cock. You probably have rules, rules that should be followed, for your safety. Daichi knows he’s safe, but you don’t. He most definitely should not ask for your number or give you his or ask what time you’re off. You shouldn’t answer him.
But you do, nodding earnestly when he asks if you’ll be here all night. He has no choice. There’s something about you that he can’t shake off. The extra cash is of no consequence to him, and maybe, just maybe… No, he won’t let that thought go further. He won’t imagine how you’d look on your knees, or bouncing on his cock. He won’t imagine you writhing beneath him or securing him to his headboard with those cuffs he’d bought but never gotten to use. He won’t imagine you breathily calling him pretty boy again even though, fuck, he wishes you would so, so bad.
“What’s your name,” you ask before you can stop yourself, before you rise to your feet. The rules here are good ones, meant to keep both the patrons and performers safe.  You’d worked at other establishments before that didn’t care so much about safety so much as they cared about money.  Your radar has never been off in the past and maybe that shouldn’t be enough for you but everything about Mystery Man makes you want to break every rule ever set before you.  There’s something about him that makes you want to risk it all.  You want to hear him whimper and you’d place bets that you could get him to do it in record time.  Even now, his breathing is shallow and he seems unable to answer you.  His friend leans over, elbowing him into action.
“His name’s Daichi.  And mine’s Kuroo.  Ya know, in case you wanted to know.”  His smile is genuine, not creepy at all.  You return the grin as you stand before turning back to Daichi.  He straightens a little, snapped back to reality by his friend.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say to Kuroo.  He is attractive, just not who you have your eyes set on.  But it’s good information to pass along to your coworkers.  Judging by his tailored suit that fits just as good as Daichi’s, you’d wager his job pays like his friend’s.  The music swells again, the DJ cueing to your next song.  “Kuroo, make sure your friend doesn’t go anywhere.  Tonight’s for him.”  Kuroo scoffs in friendly disbelief at Daichi’s luck.
“I’m hauling you to the club more often,” he says to Daichi, who flashes a quick small smile.  Oh god, that smile could bring anyone you know to their knees.  It could certainly do it to you.  That smile alone could get you to do anything Daichi would ask.  You point at Kuroo as you take your place at the center pole again.
“I’m holding you to that, Kuroo.”  You brace your hands one over the other on the pole, and shake your ass for all it’s worth.
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Body crazy, curvy, wavy, big titties, little waist.
Daichi’s going to have a stroke, he just knows it.  He can feel the veins in his forehead and neck bulging.  The blood has flowed elsewhere too.  His cock is so hard it feels painful.  There are several different ways he could get relief, most of which he should not be considering seeking in a public area.  But it’s unbearable and there’s no way he’s going to let himself come in front of all these other people.  He waits for the end of your current number and then he’s standing so fast his chair screeches out behind him; a couple of people look his way but for the most part, you’ve got everyone’s attention.  Kuroo glances sideways at his friend; he doesn’t say anything, just smirks as Daichi tosses another hundred on the bar top, telling Kuroo to give it to you before rushing to the bathroom.
He makes his way down the hall and notices there are several doors marked RESTROOM in bold capital letters.  Thank god there are single-person stalls.  He stumbles into one, shutting the door and locking it with shaking hands.  The music is still audible, even here; it seems to have dropped to a low steady hum.  Intermission.  Perfect.  Daichi turns to the sink and splashes cold water on his face, one last attempt to snap himself out of this fucking trance.  Because that’s what this has to be.  He’s getting all hot and bothered over someone who he doesn’t even know.  And god, he wants to think that you like him but he knows he’s tipping good and he’s not one of those creeps that can’t recognize it’s your fucking job.
The image in the mirror is one that almost shocks him; his eyes are glazed, and his hair’s a mess.  Just once, he just needs to come once and then he can stay here until the end of the night like he said he would.  He’ll tip you like a good customer would.  Then he’ll leave and he’ll never come back.  Because this?  This is Daichi out of control and he’s not sure that’s a good thing.  Maybe he should go back to making love to nice girls in his king-sized bed.  Yes, that’s what he’ll do.  He’ll leave here and he won’t come back and he’ll never think of you again.
Daichi unbuckles his belt, the metal of the buckle clanking as he yanks his zipper down.  He lets out a pained breath, his cock straining against his underwear.  He slips his hand into the elastic band, taking it into his hand and bringing it out into the air.  He backs up to the wall, the cool air offering little comfort for the engorged head, and closes his fist around himself.  A breath comes fast and heavy out of his mouth as he starts jacking himself off slowly, trying to make the moment last.
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You watch as Daichi stands abruptly, so quickly and sharply that he almost topples his chair over.  You watch as he tosses another bill on the bar top, leaning in to say something to Kuroo.  You watch as he throws one last glance your way before beelining to the bathrooms.  Idiot.  Absolute idiot is what you are because you’re making your way off the runway, ignoring the audience as a low boo goes through the crowd.  Your boss catches your eye from the end of the bar and waves you over.
“What the hell is going on?”  It’s not said unkindly but more with an air of annoyance.  This is your first Friday night on your own and you might be blowing it.  But you don’t care.  You put on a fake wince and point at your head, trying to look as contrite and imploring as possible.
“I’m so sorry, I know it’s my first Friday and I’m so grateful.  But I’ve really gotta pee and I’ve got this horrible headache starting.  Can I take ten?  Just ten minutes, enough time for an ibuprofen to set in while I go to the bathroom, and then I’ll be back out.  Please.”  You put those big eyes back to use, blinking slow and tilting your head slightly like you’re trying to relieve the pain of your fake headache.  Your boss squints his eyes but doesn’t protest as he pulls a bottle of Advil from behind the bar.  He hands you a couple with a glass of water.
“Ten minutes.  Go to the bathroom.  Take a breather.  Then get your ass back out there.  I’ve seen the business you’re encouraging after two sets.  You’ll be back up there as one of my main performers if you keep up the good work.”  You smile as you throw the pills back with the water and hurry in the direction of the restroom, pulling on one of the extra robes from the bar.  Now to find Daichi.
A couple is making out in the hallway; you brush past them and knock quietly on the first door.  A voice answers quickly that the stall is occupied but it’s not Daichi’s voice.  You knock on two more doors before getting to the last one.  You suppose he could have gone into the multi-stall restroom but you’d seen the look on his face when he’d stood and you’d bet all the cash he’d given you so far that he wasn’t coming back here to take a piss.  You rap your knuckles on the last single-person stall.  You’re rewarded with his voice coming from the other side.
“There’s someone-ha-there’s someone in here!”  He can barely get the words out; you know what’s going on in that stall and you want to help.  You rub your thighs together, realizing you’re already getting wet.
“Daichi, it’s me.”  This is stupid.  Maybe he doesn’t even like you that much.  Maybe you’re just some stripper at a strip club.  There’s a heavy silence now, almost solid enough that you could cut it with a knife.  Another pause and you’re getting ready to leave, cursing your confidence for all that it’s getting you, but then you hear the click of the door unlocking.  He opens it but only just so.  Still, it’s an invitation and one you are eager to accept.  You open the door just wide enough to slip through to shield yourself from any potential wandering eyes in the hall.  The scene inside the stall nearly wrecks you.
Daichi has backed up against the wall, as far away from you as humanly possible.  It’s so obvious that he’s been jacking himself off. His hair is messy, his eyes wild like he was already on the brink. He’s desperately trying to cover his cock with his hands and even though they’re large, they can’t cover it completely. You meet his gaze, which he tries to avoid, his eyes fluttering left then right with shame, before finally settling on you. Something trips across your skin.
“Babe, let me help you with that,” you whisper as you direct your line of sight to his cock. It twitches as you move closer, slowly, as if you’re approaching a cornered animal. Daichi groans a little when you reach him, one hand steadying on his shoulder and the other reaching up to touch his face.
“This is—this is not what it looks like, I swear. I promise I’m not some creep, I just—” You put a single finger softly to his lips, making sure he’s got his eyes on you. They widen just a bit. In the brighter light of the bathroom, you can see how rich the color of his irises are, golden brown like sunlight streaming through an autumn wood, or espresso, or something corny like that. Fuck the rules.
“Daichi, can I kiss you?” The question is out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. His mouth drops open but his eyes rove from yours down to your lips, then your covered chest, and back up. Finally, he nods so you guide his face down to yours and kiss him. His lips are soft and warm and pliable. He makes a little sound in the back of his throat, so unlike the image he’d put out walking in this place with his fine, tailored suit and stack of cash. Your hand slips from his shoulder and moves down the ridge of his pectoral, then lower still to the hard planes of his stomach. You trail your fingers over the now wrinkled fabric, close to his undone belt and open pants. His cock jumps against your abdomen past his hands and he gasps. “Is this okay?” You ask the question, certain that Daichi just needs the chance to give in. He nods again so you smooth your hand lower until it wraps around his cock.
Daichi’s head thunks against the wall of the bathroom as another sharp breath explodes from his open mouth. “Oh, fuck,” he growls quietly. You move your hand experimentally, softly, swiping your thumb across the head, gathering the bit of precome at the tip and smearing it about. You can’t decide what you want to look at more: the red bleeding over Daichi’s skin from the neck up, his heaving chest, or how his cock looks in your hands. He’s so… responsive. Each turn of your wrist has him shuddering beneath you. More. You need more. You want to see him beg. And part of you also realizes that he needs this too. You drop to your knees and his eyes snap back open as he watches you. “What’re you doing?”
“Only what you want me to do, Daichi. Unless you don’t want me to?” You don’t even finish your sentence before he’s shaking his head. He wraps his hand around yours, enveloping it, and moves it once, twice, over himself. A thought occurs to you, one you’re denying even as you ask him “Daichi, have you ever come down anyone’s throat?” The answer is obvious but you still feel incredulous as he tells you no. The veins in his hands are bulging and he’s still, like the calm before the storm. You lean in, maintaining eye contact, as you blow a breath over his cock. “Do you want to?”
It’s like you flipped a switch. Daichi, slowly now so you have time to pull away if you want to, curls his fingers in your hair, stroking them along your scalp. “Yes, please.” He whispers it, certain this is a dream. This has to be a fucking dream. He’s had a blow job before but never has he ever asked to come in someone’s mouth. He’s a clean guy but he’s not clueless; he just assumed most people thought it was gross and never had a problem with the fact that no one wanted to do that. At least not anyone he had been with. But, oh, he’d thought about it, lots of times. Most of those times in one night.
His pupils are blown wide as you lick your lips and take just the tip, swirling your tongue over the head. His skin is smooth, molten hot. The way your eyes never leave his is something else entirely and when you hollow out your cheeks and relax your throat to take all of him, he thinks he might die. He’s trying to maintain some semblance of control but it is already dwindling to nothing. There’s a coil building in his abdomen. Not yet he thinks viciously. Not yet. You take a few more pulls before releasing him with a pop. Frantic, he feels frantic. Maybe you decided you didn’t want to do this and he’d have to be okay with that, he couldn’t blame you but god damn—
“Daichi, eyes on me.” The man’s Adam’s apple bobs as he locks in on you again. “Let go, babe. Show me how you want it. Pull my hair. Set the pace. And when you’re gonna come, you come down my throat. Nowhere else, you got it? I’ve got five more minutes. Think we can get you there, pretty boy?” He nearly blacks out when you say those words he needed to hear again. Oh, yes, yes he’s sure you can. His eyes search yours once more before fisting his hand in your hair, tightening experimentally. You smile around his cock, deep-throating him once more, but waiting expectantly. He’s not going to come back from this. You’ve ruined anyone else for him. And he’s accepted his fate.
The moment he lets go, the moment he breaks down whatever wall is holding him in place, you can sense it. You place your hands on his thighs as he pulls you nearly all the way off before shoving you back down. Your eyes water just a bit but you feel the slick gather between your thighs. Yes, the girl inside of you that wants to see him to the end hisses. He sets the pace, a strong and quick one, but somehow still gentle. If you said you needed to stop now, you somehow know he’d do so immediately. He twists a little more, angling your head just how he wants it. You set your teeth down ever so lightly just to see….
Daichi whimpers and gasps, the sound nearly a sob on his lips. You swirl your tongue again and suck. “Ha—shit. Just. Just like that,” he grits out as he grips tighter. It hurts a little, your hair and your knees, but the pain swirls with the pleasure in a delicious slide of skin against skin. Your nails dig into his thighs again before he takes one of your hands and closes it around the base of his cock. You grip, working your wrist along with your mouth. He bucks against you, a jerky movement. “I’m close, fuckfuckfuck I’m close. I’m gonna come.” His voice lies somewhere between a bark and a whine. He can’t decide if he wants you closer, or farther, to stop or keep going. His brain is short-circuiting. He tries to pull back just a little bit, but you won’t let him in the best way possible.
You quirk your wrist and tilt your head in just a certain way… Daichi cries out, long and broken, as he curls in over you, his orgasm washing over him in waves so intense his vision goes black. His entire body shudders with his release, his form towering over you as he spurts ropes of come all the way down your throat. You milk him for all he’s worth. Not a single drop is getting away from you, no way in hell. Next time, you want him to come in your pussy. Next time? God, you want there to be a next time. He’s still leaning over you when his breathing slows and steadies; his hands are bracing themselves on your back rubbing soothing circles there with his thumbs. He helps you to your legs and steadies you for a moment.
The silence stretches on as you look at each other, both a little shocked at what just conspired. Daichi slowly puts himself back into his pants and you help him buckle his belt. You’re both on the verge of saying something either extremely brave or extremely stupid with each moment that passes. You’re about to make the first move again when he reaches up and takes your jaw in his hand, running a thumb along the corner of your mouth to gently push the last of his spend into your mouth. You lean into the touch and welcome his finger, sucking it clean just like his dick. He thinks he might be in love with you.
A breathless giggle comes out of you as you back away just a fraction, trying to give yourself space from the startling sensation fluttering in your stomach like butterflies. Your boss is gonna kick your ass if you don’t get back out on the floor. “I would invite you to my place to continue this after I’m off but it’s a little crowded and the walls are thin,” you say, hoping against hope that he wants more just as much as you do. There’s no room for doubt when he leans in and kisses you, deep and slow, tasting himself in your mouth.
“That’s no problem, princess. If you’re still feeling this when you’re off, I’ve got a penthouse all to myself.” Oh, there it is—the swagger you expected him to have. Your eyes glitter as you smooth out your hair, knowing it still looks good enough to perform. If anything, the smell of sex and the appearance of your swollen lips will get you better money, as long as your boss doesn’t catch on. You don’t think he will. “I’ll find you at the end of the night.” You nod, suddenly the bashful one.
Somehow, everything that just transpired did so all in your ten-minute break. In fact, you have one minute to spare as you strut back to the runway, giving your boss a wink and blowing a kiss to the stupefied audience.
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“Harder, Daichi, harder.” You can barely get the words out as he thrusts inside of your aching cunt. Your face is pushed into the pillows on Daichi’s king-sized bed, your ass in the air. The sound of skin slapping on skin in the quiet of his room is pornographic but you can’t waste any thoughts on being even remotely embarrassed. Tears stream down your face as he continually hits that spot inside of you that you’ve only been able to hit with a dildo and even then it never came close to this. Daichi’s a machine, the way he keeps going. After you sucked him off and he came so quickly earlier in the night, he was determined to make this one last longer. One of his hands is gripping tightly into the plush of where your hip meets your ass cheek, the other is splayed over your back, even now caressing the skin, alighting it with goosebumps. “Oh, fuuuuuck,” you whine as that same hand snakes around to your neck to pull you up.
His fingers and palm ghost over the skin as he thrusts up into you and it’s all you can do to hold to his thighs for dear life, your nails digging in so hard you’ll know they’ll leave a mark. “Are you close, princess?” He whispers it labored into your ear, his breath hot, his mouth even hotter as he leans in to nip at your pulse point from behind. You nod frantically, almost unable to answer. “Can I come inside, baby? Will you let me? Will you let me be a good boy for you?” His hand moves from your throat to your clit, stroking one slow circle over the oversensitive nub. Thank god for birth control.
“Yes, Daichi, yes, come in my pussy. Oh, god, yes be a good boy for me.” You squeal as he thrusts hard, once, twice, swiping his fingers over your clit again in a more concentrated pattern and you feel your first orgasm of the night sweep over you as Daichi finds his own release with a mangled, animalistic groan.  You think he’s done, especially when he pulls out leaving you feeling way too empty.  But you’re wrong, so, so wrong.  He proceeds to flip you over and push back in, a ring of white forming around where he’s begun thrusting inside of you again.  
“I thought about this all fucking night.”  He surges up over you, grabbing your wrists and pulling them above you.  “I thought about that pretty little cunt around my cock.  I thought about how pretty you’d look laying in my bed.”  One thrust, slow and teasing.  You roll your hips up to meet him, even though your thighs are weak and shaking.  “I’ve never–I’ve never fucked anyone like this before, it’s,” he leans in to suck on your pulse again, runs his tongue over the salty skin there, “magical.”  You whimper beneath him when you feel the familiar coil tightening once more in your belly.  
“Do you think I can make you come again, Daichi?  Can you come for me one more time?”  He groans, sealing his lips over yours as he releases your hands so that can pull him closer into you.  You scrape your nails from the nape of his neck into his hair, and grip, breathless, as his rhythm becomes choppy again.  God, you don’t know how he’s still going.  The two of you are so frenzied, the blood in your veins hotter than a blue flame.  “Look at me when you come, baby, look at me,” you whisper, bringing your hands to his cheeks.  His eyes are glazed, his face strained but still beautiful.  “I’m going to touch myself now, okay?”  His mouth pops open again as he nods, before watching as you wrap one arm around his shoulder and bring your other hand to your clit.  You swipe around his cock, collecting some of the mess you’ve both made there.  You know how to pleasure yourself and with Daichi’s expert stroke, it doesn’t take long before it snaps over you, the walls of your pussy squeezing around him forcing spend from him one more time.  It’s not as explosive as the first time but still enough that you can feel the wet leaking out onto his sheets.  “So good for me, Daichi, look how good you are for me,” you chant as you wring the last of the pleasure from each other.
When it’s over, he stills, pulling out of you and collapsing onto the bed beside you.  There’s a sheen of sweat covering you both.  The cool early morning air coming in Daichi’s open window creates the perfect juxtaposition of sensations.  He reaches over to trace patterns into your palm.  “Can I hold you?”  The question is so sweet, it makes you huff out a laugh.  The man just blew your back out and he asks if he can hold you.  But you are more than willing to oblige him so you roll into his open arm and lay your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.  You wait a moment before looking up at him, relishing the feeling of his fingers now tracing patterns into your arm and shoulder.
“Didn’t you mention something about handcuffs earlier?”  He looks down at you jerkily, a sheepish grin on his face.  You smile mischievously.  You’re going to ruin him.  He’s going to let you.  And he’s going to love it.
“Let me make you breakfast first, yeah?”  You nod and breathe in the smell of him, all sex and musk and expensive cologne.  Neither one of you knows where this is going to go but right now, it doesn’t matter.  You yawn and snuggle closer.
“Just so you know,” you intone sleepily, “I like French toast.”  He laughs softly, his own body relaxing into a lazy slumber.
“Hm, French toast?  I pinned you as a pancake kinda girl.  Good thing I also like French toast and always keep the supplies in to make it.”  His breathing is slow and shallow, matching the rhythm of yours.  The sun peeks over the cityscape around you as the two of you go under, cradled in each other’s arms.
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This work and its digital elements (photo credit to photographer) are © Kait of @kaitsawamura 2024. Please do not alter or copy this work. Please do not repost this work to other platforms without my express permission.
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jaegeraether · 8 months ago
Text
Sunsets and footballers (Part 78)
Alexia Putellas x Character (34)
Masterlist (other parts here)
((**Lil one - 1.4k**))
ALEXIA POV
Alexia went still, her whole body frozen. Ridley was there. On her knees. Staring up at Alexia. Those dark eyes troubled, her hair its usual messy and perfect look, and her smell. Fuck. Her lips. Fuck. That scar. Fuck. Ridley.
How did she-? It was an airline. Of course she knew. And she was probably also responsible for their upgrade to first class.
Ridley reached up slowly and pulled Alexia’s noise cancelling headphones down and around her neck with a gentleness that seemed to be only for her.
“La Reina..”
“Ridley..” She breathed. Who was she kidding? She was never going to get over her.
They were silent for a few moments, just taking each other in. Alexia unclipped her belt to lean forward, closer to her. The need to touch her and be touched by her was almost too much to bear.
“You left,” she whispered, hurt.
“I did.”
“You fucking left, Ridley.”
Ridley nodded, leaning closer to her also. “I’m sorry, Lex.” Her finger tips brushed Alexia’s hair from her cheek and just that small touch send shivers down her spine.
“I need to say something, if you’d let me.”
Did she deserve that? “Go ahead.”
“I ran… I ran, and I’m sorry. You deserve better.” Ridley was being vulnerable with her which made Alexia just want to touch her, anywhere, in support. To feel her skin on her own and make sure it was real. That she was real. “Lex… you can’t understand how torn I am… how conflicted. Half of me wants you to leave and find happiness elsewhere, away from me, so I don’t taint your beautiful soul with my darkened one. The other half begs for you, yearns for you, dreams about you and selfishly wants you close to me, always.”
“You always said that you weren’t good for me, but I never believed you. I still don’t.”
Ridley sighed, looking down. “I feel like I’m not good for anybody, and I didn’t want to put that burden on you for simply loving me. I went away and couldn’t stop my thoughts. I was conflicted. But amongst my confliction, I missed one very important thing. I didn’t give you a choice.”
She looked up at her, her heart on her sleeve.
“My soul is tainted, Lex. I’ve done horrible things that I’ll regret for the rest of my life. But I also know that I’ve never felt about anyone, the way I feel about you. You’ll always be safe with me, whether it’s physically, mentally, financially… I’m still working on the emotionally part. You bring far too much out of me in that regard.”
Alexia’s lips trembled at the pure, unfiltered emotion in her voice. She was being so brave and speaking so beautifully. So vulnerably.
A flight attendant tapped Ridley’s shoulder to say boarding was almost finished and she nodded, telling her she’d only be a few minutes.
“Lex, meeting you broke a spell I’ve been under for a long time. Meeting you made me realise that maybe I was worthy of love after all. You took up space in my heart before I even knew it, and now, it seems you’re there to stay. I feel sorry for the Ridley before you because she didn’t realise how much love and happiness she was missing without you. You’ve changed me forever, and I’ll happily spend the rest of my life trying to thank you.” She cupped her cheek and stroked it with her thumb. “Regardless of if you want to stay or go…”
Ridley was giving her a choice. And even though she’d never meant to, it was the one and only choice she’d ever denied her.
Alexia’s heart broke. She leant down, her hands needing to touch her, and her cheek pressed against her own. She just needed to be close to her.
“I’m damaged..” she whispered, her breath soft against Alexia’s cheek.
“You’re human…” Alexia replied softly against hers, nudging it a little as if to wake her from her stupor.
“I’m broken.”
Alexia’s hand travelled down until it rested over her heart, feeling that strong beat. “You feel whole to me.”
Ridley’s hands found Alexia’s wrists and gripped on, as if to keep her there. Wanting her close.
Alexia’s lips brushed their way up to her forehead where she gave a singular kiss with more love and passion than she had ever expressed before. So much so, that it even surprised her. “I’m right here.”
Her hands were either side of her jaw now, Alexia’s cheek resting against her eyebrow. They stayed like that for a time, until the reality of where they were set in. Ridley pulled back and the expression she had on her face affected Alexia so much, that she could feel all of Ridley’s emotions.
That’s the moment Alexia knew she’d completely and desperately fallen in love with her.
“I’m sorry I ran,” she whispered again, her face betraying her pain. Ridley was letting herself be emotional with her, and it caught Alexia completely by surprise in the best kind of way. She knew what it meant. She was letting her in.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. Not at all. Now the choice is yours, Lex.”
Alexia thought on it for a minute or so until she spoke. “I want you, Lee. In every single way. But relationships are a two-way street, and they start with us as individuals. I want you. I lov-“ She stopped herself and sucked in a breath. Fuck, she really loved her. “I… but right now you need to find that part of you that doesn’t believe you deserve to be loved, and you need to learn to love yourself. To know in your heart that you deserve to love and be loved.. because you do. You fucking do. You deserve the world.”
Ridley’s face broke, and then hardened slightly. It was an honest truth that she needed, but of course it hurt.
“You’re… right.”
Alexia leant forward again, her lips on her forehead and kissed her there. “I know,” she whispered. “And I truly hope you can find that, because you deserve to have the love of your life.”
She pulled back and Ridley was holding herself strong, surprisingly. “Is there any hope for us?”
Alexia’s pride and independence crept up. She knew what she needed. “If you can learn to love yourself, and promise me that you’ll stay. That you won’t run away again. That you’re ready to move forwards, together.” Ridley was paying attention closely like she always did. She was always a good listener. “I need you to be here for me, like I am for you. I need security.”
“How will you know that I’m ready?”
Alexia smiled. “You’ll fight for me. For us.”
Ridley almost smiled. She liked that idea, it seemed. “Until then… can we be friends?”
“Friends who love each other, yes. Yes, please. I’d like that.” She needed Ridley to prove that she was there to stay.
“Hm.” She liked that answer. Ridley looked over her shoulder and gestured to the flight attendant who came by. “No change to the manifest. Please stand the ground crew down. Leave the baggage and pet on board.”
She nodded with a smile at Ridley that had Alexia’s jealousy spike and left.
“You’re leaving Chiquito with me?”
“I can’t take him away from you..”
“He’s yours.”
“I think you’ll find that he’s ours now.”
Typical Ridley sass. She loved it.
“We can share him…”
Ridley smiled her agreement and the Spaniard didn’t realise how much she’d missed seeing that. Seeing her lips curve upwards and her scar move on her cheek. She reached out and touched it.
“Deal.” She said as she rocked back on her heels and stood. “Good bye, Alexia.”
Alexia caught her arm as she went to turn, and pulled her back down, their faces so close she could kiss her without a thought. Though it most definitely was a thought. Their first kiss. “Ridley?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t leave again. Fight for me. Fight for us.”
Ridley clipped her belt up, pulling it tight across her hips. Fuck.
And then her thumb traced her lips ever so gently. Ever the cheeky Ridley. “I will. Do you know why?”
Her thumb was still on her lower lip, and Alexia couldn’t form words at that point. She shook her head.
“Because you’re fucking mine, Alexia.”
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persevereforahappyending · 11 months ago
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Maybe in Another Life |4|
Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Hunter of Artemis!Reader
Summary: You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her.
Warnings: Slight Titans Curse Spoilers
Word Count: 2.6k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17
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“Just let me come,” you whisper yelled at Zoe. The sun had just started to come up and though all the Hunters were awake, the rest of the camp wasn’t.
“No,” Zoe whispered back harshly. “We went over this. You are needed here; you are in charge when Artemis and I aren’t around.”
“That was before Phoebe got sick,” you pointed to the bed where the other Hunters were taking care of Phoebe. The shirt the campers had gifted her had been laced with something making her sick and it was going to take to long for her to recover, the others needed to leave for the quest now.
“This doesn’t change anything. We’ll just do it with four.”
“The quest demands five.” You crossed your arms, daring Zoe to argue with you. The prophecy said five and though prophecies could be miss leading the one thing they tended to get right was the number of people involved. Trying to defy a prophecy tended to not work out.
“I need you here and I’m not taking anyone else. Now, we have to go.” Zoe nodded at Bianca who quickly grabbed her bag and went out the door to wait.
“Zoe-”
“My decision is final,” Zoe snapped. “Am I clear?” she stepped closer, looking up at you. You were taller, you were older, but that didn’t change the fact that Zoe was in charge.
“Understood,” you said.
With that Zoe swung her bag over her shoulder and marched out the door. You unclenched your jaw and slowly breathed out through your nose before following after her. You might not have been allowed to go on the quest but that didn’t mean you weren’t still going to see them off like you always did. You were silently hoping the dread you had been feeling ever since Artemis left on her mission was you just being paranoid and now with Zoe you wanted to write it off as being petty about not being able to go on the quest yourself.
As a daughter of Nike you desired victory, almost above all else, it was an issue many times. You had gotten better since joining the Hunters and Artemis helped show you victory wasn’t everything, though you still desired to win and be on top at the end of the day. Winning wasn’t the only thing being a child of Nike gave you though, you also could usually judge who would come out victorious in certain situations.
Whether it be watching a game, a sparing session, or watching two sides fight a war, Nike was always there. Nike could sense which side would come out on top. It’s one of the reasons, while Nike was seen with both Ares and Athena, she was usually more connected with being at Athena’s side. Ares loved a good fight and though he enjoyed winning, he didn’t really care one way or another, as long as the fight was good. Athena, however, was all about strategy and that usually led to her victory. Nike chose whose side to be at based on who was more likely guaranteed victory, she could sense it.
With this quest, a feeling had brewed inside you and had since stayed there. If you were to focus on it, you would find that you were sure that the quest would be a success. You could sense that the group would be victorious in their mission. However, you knew the victory, like most victories in time of war, would come at a great cost. Winning was usually everything, but there was something tugging at the back of your mind telling you that this time, despite the victory that loomed ahead, you’d rather take the lost, for you did not want to pay the price of this victory.
You followed Zoe and Bianca up to the entrance of Camp Half-Blood, seeing Thalia standing next to the tree she once was. “Reminiscing about old times?” you snarked unable to help yourself.
Thalia turned, taking her hand away from the tree it had been resting on. She only offered a glare before dismissing you and solely looking at Zoe. “Are we ready?” she asked, her arms crossed.
“Yes,” Zoe answered.
Zoe turned to you, ready to say something, but you were looking around at the group before you. “Aren’t you missing-”
“I’m here!” Grover yelled, running up to all of you as he struggled getting his bag over his shoulder. “I’m here,” he said again. He rested his hands on his hips as he began taking deep breaths after running all the way from wherever he had come from.
Zoe looked down at the wheezing satyr. You were starting to think maybe you were lucky for not going on the quest. “Let’s move,” Zoe said, turning on her heel and already marching off without the others.
“Zoe!” you called out. She turned, looking up at you from where she stood on the hill. You stared at her, trying to find the words you wanted to say. You ended up not needing to say anything, Zoe already knowing what you wanted to say gave you a nod.
You stood at the top of the hill, watching them set off until they disappeared from your line of sight once they hit the woods. You let out a sigh before turning and making your way back down the hill into camp. You didn’t bother going back to the cabin, you already knew you wouldn’t be any help to Phoebe so you might as well stay out of the way. Besides, you needed a distraction, your mind was already spiraling with what could potentially happen on the quest, what might happen to Zoe, and what Artemis must be going through.
You made your way to the training area, picking out a dummy on the far end. You unsheathed your sword and swung, nailing the dummy in the neck. You dealt blow after blow onto the poor training dummy, the wood was beginning to splinter.
“So, they left for the quest,” a voice interrupted your training dummy demolishing. You spun around, slashing the blade down onto the dummy’s neck causing a crack to echo throughout the still sleeping camp. With your sword still in hand you turned to see Percy standing there. He had wide eyes as he looked behind you at the nearly decapitated dummy. “Chiron won’t be happy.”
You rolled your eyes, the last thing you cared about was what Chiron thought. “It’s a training dummy, it’s literally what it’s meant for.” Percy didn’t say anything, he just stood there shifting from one foot to another. “What are you doing here? It’s barely morning.” You gestured around to the still dark sky; the sun was just beginning to peak up over the horizon.
“Look, I get you’re a Hunter,” he said defensively, waving his hands around, “and you hate all men.” You rested the hand still holding the sword on your hip as you raised an eyebrow at him. “But, you don’t even know me! We’ve never even had a real conversation. I don’t think it’s fair to judge me based on-”
“Have you ever considered,” you interrupted him. “That I don’t hate all men and me not liking you, is solely to do with you?”
Percy opened and closed his mouth a few times before settling on a frown. He looked up at you with wide eyes as he pouted. You rolled your eyes; it wasn’t like you were going to take it back or apologize. Percy was a tad annoying when you first met him and then the other day, he had the audacity to question your shooting skills, he might as well be an enemy for life after that.
“Not everyone likes you,” another voice interrupted the two of you. You looked up while Percy whipped around, nearly tripping over his own feet. “You should be used to that by now,” Clarisse looked Percy up and down as she approached you.
You looked at Percy as he just stood there staring at Clarisse, pouting. You raised an eyebrow wondering if he would get the hint, but you got the impression he was rather oblivious. Clarisse crossed her arms and continued to glare at him. “Why are you still here?” she snapped, causing Percy to jump from the sudden outburst. “Bye!” she gestured away with her hand which Percy took as his cue and ran off back towards the cabins.
It was still dark, the sun taking its time to rise. Percy never managed to answer you as to why he was wandering around so early. You didn’t really care; you wouldn’t be surprised if Percy had been intending to sneak off. He was bummed, he couldn’t go on the quest and the only thing on his mind seemed to be rescuing his friend.
Clarisse glanced over your shoulder at your mostly decapitated dummy. “Not bad,” she shrugged. “But a training dummy isn’t exactly a moving target.”
“Is that a challenge?” you questioned, your eyes lighting up with excitement. A fun and intense sparring session is exactly the kind of thing that could get you to stop thinking about Zoe and the quest.
She cocked her head to the side with a smirk. “Think you can keep up? This isn’t going to be some fun little,” she wiggled her hand, “bow and arrow trick.”
You chuckled, knowing she had no idea what she was getting herself into. “I thought you would have learned your lesson during capture the flag, guess not,” you sighed. “I’ll even give you an advantage,” you smirked. “You can choose the weapons.”
Clarisse clenched her jaw; you wouldn’t be surprised if she was grinding her teeth. You awaited her response with a smirk. “Swords,” she finally said through gritted teeth.
You silently laughed. “Okay.” You gestured for her to lead the way and you followed behind her. You were surprised she didn’t argue with you about you kicking her ass the day before. You were going to take it as her knowing you were right.
When you got to the sparring ring Clarisse walked to one side while you walked to the other. You watched as she pulled out her sword, examining it and twirling around in her hand. You looked down at your own sword, extending your arm as you played with the balance until Clarisse was ready. You turned to check on her to see she was turning to face you. You both stood across from each other at opposite ends before you each took a step into the ring at the same time.
You and Clarisse circled each other in the sparring ring. You twirled the sword in your hand as you watched her movements carefully. Just because it was sparring didn’t mean you’d let her win. A bow and arrow might have been the preferred weapon of Artemis and her Hunters but all of you were skilled in a variety of weapons. You might not have remembered much about your time before you became a Hunter, but you did remember the first weapon you ever picked up, the first weapon you ever killed a monster with was a sword. The bow and arrow was an extension of yourself now, a second arm, but picking up a sword was like greeting an old friend.
Your sword was one of the only things you carried from mortal life to your immortal one. You left everything behind, only taking the sword you now currently held in your hands. The sword was a relatively simple thing, well simple compared to something like Percy’s, yours didn’t turn into a pen at your convenience or reappear in your pocket no matter where you seemingly lost it. The blade was celestial bronze, like most demigod weapons, the hilt was steel, with a golden laurel wreath on each side of the pommel. You had it specially made from a blacksmith or maybe it was a child of Hephaestus, you couldn’t really remember, it had been a thousand years after all. Whoever forged it, you had them place laurel wreaths to represent your mother, to represent your impending victory.
You knew you wouldn’t have to wait long, children of Ares were impatient, as well as cocky and arrogant. Clarisse would make her first move and that would set your eventual victory into motion. As if on cue Clarisse swung her sword, you smirked as you brought your sword up, your blade meeting hers in a loud clash. You gripped your sword tightly before pushing back, forcing Clarisse to step back. She glared at you before making her next move.
Clarisse swung, you blocked. She swung at you, you blocked again. The two of you fell into a dance of slashing and blocking each other. You eventually gave in, swinging at her occasionally, you didn’t always play the defensive. You knew Clarisse was good in a fight, she had a powerful swing, but you were curious if she was just as good at defending herself. Being good in a fight was meaningless if you couldn’t protect yourself. You could be the best fighter in the world, but it didn’t matter if you couldn’t block a simple attack.
“How long have you guys been out here?” a feminine voice asked.
You and Clarisse just clashed swords, holding them against each other as both of you turned to see Silena approaching you. You and Clarisse each released your hold and turned to fully greet Silena. You and her had apparently been at it for a while, the sun had fully risen and there were other campers beginning to walk about around camp. You glanced at Clarisse to see she seemed just as shocked, neither of you had been aware of the passing time, the two of you were so engaged in your sparring match.
“It’s time for breakfast,” Silena said. “And you have to eat something,” she pointed an accusatory finger at Clarisse.
Clarisse rolled her eyes but nodded, nonetheless. She had her sword resting at her side as she tried to catch her breath. You didn’t realize how exhausted you were until the two of you stopped. You looked over at the daughter of Ares then down at yourself seeing that both of you were dripping in sweat.
“Uh oh, someone’s in trouble with the girlfriend,” you joked, not able to help but take another shot at her.
Clarisse flicked a glare at you. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“You too!” Silena moved her accusatory finger towards you. “Breakfast important! And she is not my girlfriend,” she looked at Clarisse as if the idea of dating the girl horrified her.
“Yeah, cause she’s to busy being in love with Beckendorf,” Clarisse teased, smirking at her friend’s reddening face.
“I told you that in confidence,” Silena stepped forward, slapping Clarisse in the arm. There wasn’t enough force in the slap to hurt Clarisse, but she did stumble back, but not without laughing at Silena’s antics. “Let’s go,” she demanded. “And you’re joining us,” she pointed at you, narrowing her eyes so you knew there would be arguing or getting out of it.
You and Clarisse both shared a look, having the same thought about Silena. Regardless the two of you followed Silena to the dining pavilion. All of you gathered up breakfast on your plates, making your offering to the gods before taking a seat at one of the tables. It was still early enough that the pavilion wasn’t filled with campers. It almost felt weird how normal it felt sitting at a table other than the one designated for Hunters of Artemis. You had planned to sit quietly as Clarisse and Silena talked but Silena kept including you in the conversation until the three of you eased into a discussion, both of them asking about your travels with your goddess, the adventures you’d been on, and all the monsters you’ve slayed.
Taglist: @cxcilla
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runnning-outof-time · 1 year ago
Note
Hello! Can I request John with "Do you actually love me?"
Hi there @kpoploverxx-12 ! Thanks so much for sending this in! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write it! I hope you like what I did with it! This is my favorite John fic that I’ve written in a long time….it might even be my favorite fic of this celebration. Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!
Exactly Like That
John Shelby x Reader
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Warnings: none
Word Count: 683
Summary: Two friends become a something a little more than that when John lets those three words slip.
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John and (Y/N) were sitting on the bank of the Cut, like they usually do. They’d gone there nearly every Friday for the last ten years, spare the years when John was away at war. Whenever he’d come home though, they’d somehow find themselves sitting there.
In a way, it became like their therapy. The calming sound of the water flowing became the backdrop that the two would share their goings on to.
It was there that these two became closer to each other than anyone else in their lives.
John just finished telling (Y/N) what was happening in his family. She was the one person who would listen to everything and not tell a soul. She did so because she knew John would do the same for her. They were both thankful for each other in that regard.
“You’ll get through it, John. You always do,” she said to him, a smile forming as she turned to face him. “And hey, if you don’t, I know that I’ve got a handsome amount of money coming my way,” she joked then, cracking up at her own statement.
John couldn’t help but laugh. Her laughter was like music to his ears. It always instantly put him in a better mood. “I love you,” he admitted once his laughter died down and he’d been watching at her as she came down from her fit of giggles from a few moments ago.
“Yeah,” she agreed, not really hearing what he said at first. Silence fell over them as (Y/N) looked down to the water again. Then it clicked. “Do you actually love me?” she asked, a seriousness present in her voice that hadn’t been there seconds ago. This conversation had essentially changed tones on a dime.
“Yeah, course I do,” John responded without a second thought.
(Y/N) froze for a moment, her heart rate quickening. “Yeah, well not like that, right?” she scrambled to ask while mentally telling herself to calm down and not get ahead of herself.
John’s eyes danced over her face for a moment, taking her features in before the slightest smile graced his lips. “No, exactly like that,” he spoke with sincerity, like it was the most important thing he’d ever said.
(Y/N) let out a breath, her eyes going wide as she quickly looked straight again. She was freaking out now, and she didn’t want him to see it. In all their years of friendship, she never thought that things would get to this point…where she’d make her feelings for him known.
Nothing was said as John reached over and gently took hold of (Y/N)’s chin so that he could guide her eyes back to his. They held eye contact for a few moments, the air around them holding this weird tension that neither of them had experienced before.
John just had to break it. “I love you, (Y/N). Have since you and I was kids,” he told her, speaking softly due to their proximity, but she heard every word clear as day. She also didn’t miss his eyes as they flitted down to her lips. There was no hesitation in her moving the slightest bit closer to him, showing him that she wanted exactly what he wanted. He licked his lips before continuing, “…been wantin’ to do this for a long time too,” he breathed, giving her no time to respond - if she even wanted to - before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
The kiss felt exactly like those kisses that are described in the romance novels…the ones that sweep people off of their feet. (Y/N) was thankful that they were sitting, because otherwise she wasn’t sure if she could trust her legs to hold her up.
“I love you too, John,” she breathed against his lips once they broke the kiss. Her eyes were closed, but she was able to feel his smile, and that alone made her smile. Nothing else was said as their lips met again…nothing more was needed to be said.
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**tags in reblogs so that hopefully they get sent
MASTERLIST
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sunnysideaeggs · 7 months ago
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uuuuh okay thoughts about S2E1 (disclaimer: SPOILERS! and some unpopular opinions bc i WILL be criticizing alicent). most of these i had during my watch yesterday, and now i’m elaborating on them after more thinking about it. looooong post ahead
okay i liked the new intro. i will miss the blood pouring but i think the tapestries are a more visual way to convey targaryen history.
my favorite parts were the shot of vhagar and balerion in the field of fire(? idk they were eating men (green dragon black dragon !!!), the jaehaerys and alysanne portrait, alicent and rhaenyra and aegon and rhaenyra crowned side by side. beautiful.
also, the blood beneath the thread !!! targaryen history is written in blood. never forget this.
i dont particularly like jace being at the wall. it makes little sense to me, especially because the north is massive and i don’t think that cregan would like to make a procession to the wall just because a prince is there. i liked the tidbits though: jon going to the watch is a tradition he followed unknowingly :)
show me more political jace please, he’s cool.
‘surely torrhen would’ve rather died instead of bending the knee unless he believed aegon could bring unity to the 7K’ jace pls 💀
it’s funny that in one scene rhaenys and daemon had more tension and chemistry than all the scenes of daemon with adult rhaenyra. maybe what he needs is a GILF to put him in his place? lmao
LAENA MENTION LETS GOOOOO
‘make it a son for a son’ referring to aemond? alicent has no bone to pick here be fr i can smell bleach for the whitewashing a mile away
i also have issue with the writers’ choice of making rhaenyra ignore her physical needs and spend apparently days riding on dragon back and doing jumps and that when she just had a miscarriage. it’s canon that she was in bed rest for half a year because the loss of visenya took a toll on her body. it will be dumb and criticized if she’s fine to disappear for weeks but not to fight.
alyn velaryon? ok i’m mad bc corlys literally knows this dude is his son ???
i love how we all pretend that corlys and rhaenys were particularly interested in the strong boys. idk i can’t really care about that anymore
ow is helaena sewing alicent a dress? please tell me it’s not a shroud
AEGON APPEARED WOOO 🍳✨
‘where’s jaehaerys? where are his lessons?’ my man doesn’t know to what school his kids go lol
also he can recognize the twins apart with only seeing them :)✨ cute
aegon wanted jaehaerys in his council !!!! he’s making sure jae KNOWS he’s his heir and he’s on aegon’s mind
oh hel is comfortable enough with him to tell him about her prophecies, i’m just afraid that no one understand her
‘the rats’ NOOOOO
aegon is always like ‘😐❔’ around her lol
‘the queen is an enduring mystery’ he’s a poet i love him
alicole pussyeating but at what cost
why does criston has that empty look in his eyes, he had the same look in his scene with rhaenyra
where is all the raw emotion between them from last season? it’s giving cersei and lancel when it should be cersei and jaime. no deep gazes, no catholic guilt, something’s amiss
jaehaerys and egg </3 my feels they’re so cute
okay i have a bone to pick here because why is tyland being treated like a joke? i can get past jaehaerys toying with him because he’s a child, but aegon respected his allies (that’s a big part about him) and would never antagonize them in that way. it’s given rhaenyra and lady redwyne when we know both characters differ the most in the way they treat their subjects.
also, this is TYLAND LANNISTER, the most employed guy ever. he literally put his skin on the fire for his team, he’s loyal and he’s the best ally the greens could’ve asked for. if anyone is to thank for the death of the dragons, it’s him. put some respect on his name because this is the finance bro to end all finance bros.
also he’s always saying important things: the treasure in the green council, jason’s moves here. please listen to him!
another thing i dislike is the way important political moves are being brushed off. the treasure is a big big matter. it should be said explicitly what the council is doing about it being the focus of the scene. i’m sure most casual viewers didn’t catch that the comedic relief is making big money moves that will backfire later.
but anyways jaehaerys is so cute hehe
happy father’s day to aegon targaryen and aegon targaryen only
okay i’m rewatching the jaehaerys and tyland scene and i love tyland’s accent, and how polite he is to the little prince
go aemond in the council !!!
‘you do not have a seat in this council’ okay alicent please stfu. i disliked her demeanor since she was chastising aegon and tyland but this is too much. remember you do not have a seat either.
and no she doesn’t: she’s queen mother, not queen regent. aegon is an able adult and can rule without her help. i know the only council we had was with cersei but that’s because joffrey and tommen were under westeros’ age of majority. that alicent is there is out of aegon’s kindness and the council members’ respect.
also why would she be mad that the brothers are brothering ??? girl you wanted them to be on each other’s side
SUNFYRE MENTION LETS GOOOO
‘we must proceed cautiously’ i think all caution must be thrown overboard here. i know they want to portray A/R as the ‘voices of reason’ being pushed to war and all but sometimes violence is necessary to prevent more violence. what tywin said about murdering a dozen people in a dinner and a thousand in battle.
i’m tired of this aemond slander. he did it, but he’s innocent your grace
why larys kinda…
ok i love his voice
oh so now every move of alicent is seen by larys. she knows that he knows. neat.
why do the handmaidens wear green? they should wear gold ☀️
okay i initially thought syrax was sunfyre because of the pink of his wings. i hope sunfyre is golden smh
it’s neat that we remember than no matter what side we’re on, for the common people dragons are a source of fear and caution. the fishermen are loyal to rhaenyra yet they will run away from her when she’s on syrax because they don’t trust a dragon.
rhaenyra’s pain is so deep, i really empathized with her. absolutely devastating. her expression, her grabbing the cape, everything
emma is so fucking talented for real, making me feel for the death of a character i dislike
(oh how the mourning of a woman for her child will cause thousands of mothers mourning their children the same)
‘aegon the magnanimous’ when your homie gives you a ridiculous nickname
my boy sits and listens to his subjects, calls them by their names and tells them not to be afraid. hello jerard what can i do 4 u? :)
i love how egg is like ‘yea whatever take ur sheep jerard pls like me’
okay i dislike otto here. aegon is obviously into crowd pleasing (a secret tool that will be useful later) and for once it’s okay. jerard will go home with his sheep and be a diehard aegon supporter and raise his kids to be the same, tell his friends about the king’s generosity. i think otto should know better than to angry the population in time of war, even if you can’t make the flock whole, give the man grain or coin so he can feed his family and the effort of going to the king’s house.
hugh? like hugh hammer? ooooh
‘our victory depends on the efforts of the smallfolk’ close enough welcome back princess diana
another otto slander moment here. i don’t think it’s wise to chastise the king (an adult, mind you) and putting himself in between of aegon and the court like that. did we saw otto with viserys? he sat by his side and whispered his advice in a discreet manner. he didn’t try and strongarmed his king in front of dozens of people. that’s not a smart way of doing things. it’s called soft power for a reason
also, i think the directors were trying to make otto parallel tywin in that joffrey in the throne scene, but tywin was explicitly trying to get joffrey to be more involved in the council and the two were alone. give it to aegon, let him have his fun in public and manipulate him in private, that is the way. doing dumb shit like that only makes aegon look like a kid and otto like a shameless powergrabbing dude
one thing i appreciate is that aegon has his own court. he has his lads-in-waiting, he has a few ladies following behind, and that’s how a king should be. we always saw the royal kids isolated (joff, tommen, rhaenyra only had alicent) when in reality most important people will have a flock of people accompanying them every day.
now that’s what i’m talking about. larys is all about being subtle, honey trapping his way to power. that’s how the game of thrones is played. while aegon will not agree with him just like that (because larys gives him the oogies), i’m sure he will remember larys’ words.
‘as viserys wished’ oh don’t speak of him fuck what he wants
an ally would not sit there and cut her legs at the table of men? girl you do that yourself
alicent, the problem is not otto undermining you, is both of you yapping about shit aegon and aemond not care about and winning empty victories lol
aegon will probably forget about jerard next episode, but will not forget feeling his wings being cut by otto. aemond remained in the council room but will remember alicent wanting him gone.
i wish alicent and otto believed more on their kids/grandkids
mysaria apparition yay
‘you speak of highborn games, i am common born’ tell him girl
daemon don’t put your hands on women challenge: impossible
chemistry with mysaria? uuuuh
i love how everyone reminds erryk of arryk like ‘ayo where ur bro at?’ a matching set is not matching, it’s giving the parent trap
‘i want aemond targaryen’ okay at least she knows who to blame. i want to see more of vengeful rhaenyra, let women be mad
daemon going for aemond instead of for jaehaerys is such a cheap move smh, whitewashing at its finest
jaecarys and rhaenyra :(
is it too insensitive to say that jace’s hair looks great? you’re serving cunt? your brother just died and you’re serving cunt?
ow alerie florent :((((
FUCK VISERYS TARGARYEN
i really like the symbolic funeral. that shot of rhaena crying over the fire? chills
is it me or they changed joffrey’s actor? idk
uuuuh alicent idk if that’s empathy or weakness 🙃
once again i don’t think it’s neat that they show blood being a normal goldcloak. he was discharged dishonorably for femicide. be honest
cheese’s actor kinda looks like joaquin phoenix
‘i want aemond targaryen’ i hate this fucking show.
ROSBY AND STOKEWORTH MENTION LETS GOOO
criston agreeing with aemond in private but backing alicent in public is the medieval version of ‘yea kid ur right but i don’t wanna fight with your mom’
criston looks so tired :(
‘her grace speaks with two tongues’ SAY YOUR TRUTH AEMOND
it is vain to try and blame aemond for starting the war when the war was brewing since before he was born. rhaenyra wouldn’t give up her claim, daemon wouldn’t accept it. if rhaenyra ascended, the targtowers die. there’s not another version of this story
‘she holds love for our enemy, that makes her a fool’ that makes her a traitor. especially after the events of tonight. do we think rhaenyra has a designated green supporter that tries to get her to the green’s side? why would the greens have a rhaenyra cheerleader then?
gods forbid something happens and otto is not there 🙄 control freak
i like how they’re making aemond more rage-filled. careful ewan your book!aemond is showing
‘aegon the strong’ ‘my nephews have already taken that one’ but egg 💀💀💀
i really love how aegon has his court. he’s protected by the throne’s swords AND his homies got his back
the true king can sit however he likes. he lounges on the swords and they’re as soft as pillows to him. pretenders can’t relate.
in a deeper level, it shows how he’s comfortable both in the throne and surrounded by people. he has high trust. kinghood is a tool he doesn’t have any training on but he holds it like a natural
aegon truly trusts aemond. i love that for them. if they make aemond to be treacherous i’ll cry
AEGON THE DRAGONCOCK 🐲 rip leon estermont you would’ve loved shitposting
also why the ratcatchers are just walking around the keep? are they in the tunnels or in plain sight?
the kick to the doggie :( i really hope they didn’t really kick a dog for that
unrelated but i really need the rats around the red keep to mean something like larys skinchanging into them. they can’t be a red herring or just blood and cheese. they have too many shots
again, why are they out and about? isn’t it weird to see dudes in the middle of the night?
helaena’s maid looks like emma stone and she has really good eyebrows. i’m pretty sure she knows something (larys agent ofc)
how do we go from searching for aemond to threatening helaena? whyyyyyyy
oh right we had to blame the smallfolk for being soooo greedy and wicked and stupid that you tell them kill a great warrior and they kill a baby. because daemon can’t ever order a baby killed amiright?
the little beds noooooo :( baby jaehaerys
okay i was expecting more of helaena. in the books she’s described as pleading, begging, crying and so on. phia is killing it with the eye expressions but she looks stiff in comparison with only her necklace. even trying to bargain more (my husband can give you everything and more), some more tears, some stuttering would fit show!helaena’s too. that’s on the directors tho
i also dislike the choice that anyone can just barge in the room, literally they had to make the castle desert instead of blood and cheese waiting for hel in alicent’s rooms. i know someone is going to make the point of ‘why didn’t helaena scream or run?’ and yes partly. guess we had to slander alicent in another way right?
but alas, i am thankful that a prediction of the scene didn’t came true: no children being forcefully stripped. that would’ve sent me over the edge. they implied it but no child actors were harmed in this episode
omg the sounds of the head cutting and jaehaerys’ muffled sounds i wanna cry
helaena is so lost and the castle is a maze and nobody’s there and she’s lost lost lost and running with jaehaera i can’t
did she saw a vision there? when she stopped and went to alicent’s room
imagine going to comfort for your mom and she’s at it
‘return to your post lord commander’ why didn’t you criston? 🙃
also it didn’t pass me by that aegon has THREE kingsguards in addition to his four homies and his own sword. helaena had none. even if he was off duty and he’s sworn to alicent and not helaena, the lord commander is not commanding
THREE maids at the start of the episode doing absolutely nothing and none here? i’m so mad
‘they killed the boy’ :(((((
also why is helaena so disconnected? like why is she ‘able’ or is she in shock? i hope if they don’t make her go insane with pain like in the book she gets a revenge arc where she goes on dreamfyre, she deserves it.
i hope aegon kills them all.
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riverbutghost · 1 year ago
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Can you write a one shot where Y/n is self harming and how Simon is reacting to that?
This is my first request!!!!!!!
Also, I’m so so so sorry for this, this isn’t how i expected it to turn out, also I have a severe migraine right now and can’t look at screen too much. I wrote it super fast. Apologies, and promise that i’ll write more soon.
Go ahead and request with an angst prompt !!
Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x GN!Reader
Summary: You used to self harm, but after attending military you stopped. Certain someone made you break, though.
Warnings: Graves is an asshole, no touching but cat calling?, Self harm, depression topics, kind of ooc simon, mentions of suicide…
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Even though you were feeling down lately, your friends were always there for you. You knew it.
Your mental health wasn’t always perfect, and you knew it would take a while to heal. But even after healing, you knew it would always come back.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m glad you chose me to vent about it.”
It was always easy to vent to Soap, he would always make you chuckle or smile.
“It’s cool y’know? I know why you’re feeling this way. But it will always get better.”
Gaz would pat your hair, cuddle you a little like a brother and give you a chocolate. He would make you smile.
Simon wasn’t there usually. And no, you wouldn’t seek comfort from him either way. You knew the man wasn’t a people person, and he wouldn’t do anything other than getting annoyed.
So after your mission went smoothly, everyone wanted to celebrate and drink. Not you for sure.
You weren’t feeling good and stable so you politely declined. This, of course drew your friends’ attention. You just told them you were tired, because you didn’t want them to miss out on their time. They finally accepted and left the base to have fun.
You, on the other hand wasn’t feeling too well. It was overwhelming, to feel that way after a success.
“Congratulations, soldier. But you missed your shot. It was a stupid thing to do, the target wasn’t even moving ahahah.”
You furrowed your eyebrows after remembering your commander’s words. Graves, he was something. He would constantly pick on you, even though he had told you he liked you. You couldn’t understand him, was he that kind of person who would bully their crushes? Yeah, no.
You shook your head, clearing your mind of those thoughts. You needed a bath, and the base was empty. You smiled to yourself weakly. This was going to be a long shower.
You closed your door, but didn’t lock it. You didn’t care because the base was empty. You stripped off your clothes and got in.
-
“Is she okay?”
Simon furrowed his eyebrows.
“Who?”
Soap rolled his eyes and cursed through the phone. He told him your name, and Simon cursed himself too.
“Didn’t know she was here,”
Simon swore that he heard Soap rolling his eyes.
“Whatever, I gotta go. Don’t get wasted, yeah?”
Simon didn’t wait for an answer before shutting the phone down. He got up and went to his bathroom, ready to take a shower. He locked the door before pulling his mask off.
He got in, warm water immediately softening his tense shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes.
-
You had decided to grab something from the kitchen before combing your hair. So here you were, eating an apple while going to your room.
“Ooof, here you are.”
You stopped dead in your tracks after someone grabbed your shoulders from behind.
“Our talk was interrupted,”
You swallowed and smiled at him, even though his eyes were raking up and down your body. You shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh, uhm- yeah. I don’t see you like that-“
His hands moved to your waist and you gasped quietly.
“C’mon, we both know what you want. Don’t resist it.”
You pushed him hard enough to let him off and he just snorted.
“I told you. I don’t want you, Graves.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Is that why you wear these shorts huh? Why your hair is wet and free? Don’t play dumb, you want it. Don’t worry, even if you’re bad in bed it would worth it and I won’t tell anyone.”
He winked and that was the final straw. You kicked him in his crotch, and pushed him with all your force. He groaned and gritted his teeth.
“Fuckin’ bitch. You’re gonna regret that!”
You just walked hurriedly to your room and locked the door behind you.
You didn’t know when, but you had started crying. You sat down in front of your door and cried silently.
When you realized you had dropped your apple there, you started crying harder.
“Fuck,”
You sniffled and gripped your phone. But you couldn’t, they were having fun and you wouldn’t dare to ruin it.
You closed your eyes, tried doing the breathing techniques your therapist had taught you.
“I can’t believe you’re our teammate now, you should be a model.”
“I can keep you company, you know?”
“But you’re asking for it.”
“You don’t have a boyfriend? Such a shame, you have a good physique.”
“Believe me sweetheart, no one would talk to you if you weren’t that beautiful.”
“That pretty face is missing something, a smile?”
“Oh my God, be a lady and bow down to me will you? ahahah..”
“Fuck!”
You quickly got up, the voices in your head were ringing and ringing. Graves’ voice was ringing. It kept getting louder.
You opened your drawer and took out your knife, and held it in your hand for a second.
The voices are going to stop, you thought. It will get better if I do this, you convinced yourself.
You cut your wrist, hands shaky from the panic attack. Your breaths were unstable, shallow.
You cut your wrist again, the voices were now getting weaker.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
You jumped forward with the knife in your hand. Simon gasped for a second before holding you and looking at you.
“What happened?!”
Simon shook your shoulders, not knowing what to do. You were just as shocked as him, and didn’t move a muscle.
Simon’s eyes went up to your hair and down to your feet. His breath shook as he noticed the blood dropping from your cuts.
“What the- What did you do?!”
Simon quickly took the knife and threw it across the room, then he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom.
He put you down to the floor of the shower cabin and washed your face.
“Wait here, ‘kay? I’ll be back.”
He quickly went back to his room, grabbed the first aid kit and came rushing back.
He carefully took your wrist, inspected it and worked on it quietly.
You were still in shock, eyes looking empty at the ground. It was all so quick, and your mind wasn’t comprehending it.
Simon called your real name and you suddenly looked up. It was like a switch. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at your wrist.
“Oh my God- I fuck!”
“Shh-“
You silently cried as he bandaged your wrist, thankfully you didn’t cut that deep.
After a minute or so, he got up and picked you up. He went towards your bed, and put you down. He sat down as well.
“Why? I don’t understand anything.”
You swallowed and looked down.
“I was suicidal before. And it just, I don’t know. I got triggered I guess.” You mumbled and shrugged.
Simon just narrowed his eyes. How could you be so calm about it?
“But what happened? What triggered it?”
You sighed as you let yourself down on your mattress.
“Don’twannatalkaboutit.”
Simon raised an eyebrow.
“What? Speak up soldier. C’mon now, you know you can talk to me.”
“Graves…”
Simon shot up.
“What did that fucker do?!”
You just sighed and curled up more.
“Nothing,I-“
Simon quickly got out of your room, leaving you speechless and scared. You were scared to be alone, and scared that Graves would say some shit and Ghost would believe them.
You just closed your eyes and sighed again, suddenly fee exhausted and tired.
It was so quick, so fast like it was a dream.
“What the fuck just happened..” You mumbled to yourself.
Soon enough, Simon came back. He knocked on your door and you mumbled for him to come in.
“Took care of it.”
Your heart broke a little after that. Not in a bad way, you might add.
“Thank you. I’m just exhausted, I guess. Never really thought I would ever do that again.”
Simon held your hand as you looked up at him. His eyes took you in and left you breathless in an instant. He attempted to say something, but didn’t. You smiled at him softly, laying down on the bed.
“I’m gonna go, yeah..”
He scratched the back of his neck, and contemplated for a moment to say anything else.
But he got up, leaving your room after looking you one last time.
It was probably for another day. You would talk with him another day.
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connabeth · 1 year ago
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that was the best episode by FAR and here’s why:
1. annabeth instinctually knowing he’s alive and refusing to lose her faith in him even when grover didn’t believe so.
2. the hug. the overwhelming relief on her face. his pleasantly surprised reaction. us being able to see everything visually click in grover’s head once he realized what he’s in for. percy teasing her about it when they’re hiding on the highway bc he assumes that’s why she’s being standoffish. grover heaving and rolling his eyes when percy suggests that. i can already envision the MoA parallels in my head of them running to each other.
3. percy and annabeth referring to each other as friends on multiple occasions like FINALLY you’re getting it
4. percy telling annabeth and grover about his revelation that the quest goes deeper than they think and annabeth and grover being light years ahead of him
5. percy’s renewed faith in his father contrasted with annabeth’s dwindling faith in her mother
6. annabeth seeing the fates cut a string and mentally preparing herself to sacrifice herself for her friends and the quest bc she’s so ride or die for them it’s insane even if she’ll deny it and say it’s for the sake of the quest.
7. none of them talking to gods with the deference they’re supposed to. annabeth cooly staring down ares like she couldn’t be blasted to smithereens.
8. annabeth casually mentioning she’s never seen a movie ever to an appalled percy, speaking to how sheltered camp life has been for the last 5 years, making her unaware of general pop culture. percy promising to catch her up on what she’s missing out on. cut to their interrupted botl movie date that’s most definitely not a date. cut to MoA when she mentions roman holiday is her favorite movie bc she watched it a lot with her dad after they somewhat reconciled…also due in part to percy.
9. annabeth getting distracted by the beauty of the machine at the entrance while percy thinks he is actively going to die. her love for design will never not be endearing.
9. percy and annabeth riding down the tunnel of love seeing hephaestus’s story play out and annabeth insisting that sally prepared him the best way she could’ve—with unwavering loyalty to his loved ones, the antithesis to the gods.
10. annabeth being so ready to sacrifice herself for him, especially after probably being ridden with guilt and self-hatred for letting him get the best of her at the gateway arch, and understanding he would never let her do that. his pure faith in her as being the most capable—“You’re better at this than me. You just are.” with the utmost conviction in his voice. both of them tearing up and percy begging her to do what he originally chose her on the quest for. annabeth fighting back every instinct within her that despises standing back and letting someone else take the fall. him turning to her and saying “i need you to promise me something” and her immediately swearing if she’s able to save anyone on this quest, it’ll be his mother, knowing that’s the most important thing to him in all of this. him asking she come back for him and her scoffing “you think you had to ask?” and his sad watery smile back, knowing he didn’t need to….ALSO the ever-iconic “seaweed brain”. PEAK cinema i’m telling you
11. percy trusting annabeth with riptide as his parting gift and thing to give her strength and remember him by. paralleled with how she’ll (hopefully) untie her camp necklace and tie it around his neck before his final fight with ares as a token of good luck and entrusting him with the home she wore around her throat…
12. the well-written conversations with the gods, though unexpected. grover being FAR more clever than he’s given credit for, manipulating ares’s tendency towards anger, bitterness, and pride to get what he wanted out of him. annabeth rejecting hephaestus’s promises of power and glory and the renewal of her mother’s favoritism and pride, something annabeth used to crave with her entire heart. annabeth echoing to hephaestus what she said to percy in the tunnel about him not being like the rest of their godly family and telling the god that she refuses to be like them too. that the way they treat each other and their children isn’t right, the same way percy insisted to her last episode. hephaestus being one of the only gods capable of empathizing with her and telling her “you’re a good kid, annabeth. i’ll put in a good word with your mom for you.” no one speak to me i’m unwell
13. timothy omundson in general…although i keep hearing him as lassie in my head 😭
14. ares negging on them and warning percy his dad’s mind is as fickle as the sea itself and percy won’t be able to hold down his father’s favor and percy responding by threatening the literal god of war in the most percy-like fashion
15. ares didn’t call twitter X. but now we know who’s behind the mentally ill stan wars
things they really didn’t need to change:
1. the one thing i am really miffed about it is them robbing thief annabeth from my cold, dead hands. i wanted to see her raid a store without a second thought and be a little gremlin!!! she has hermes’s influence all over her (thanks luke/being a runaway), let us see it!!!
2. percy and annabeth being slightly awkward at the entrance of the thrill ride of love didn’t carry the same humor as the book scene because they’re such children about it in tlt and annabeth is extremely flustered but we don’t see that here.
3. aphrodite’s scarf. it was a fun detail they could’ve kept. seeing percy making heart eyes would’ve been funny (and maybe a glimpse into future seasons)
4. percy seeing a clip of gabe being gabe and saying “im going to kill him” is merely a NUGGET of the hatred we should be seeing from percy for that man. especially in area’s presence which feeds off of and amplifies everybody’s anger and hatred and bloodlust. there still needs to be more build up to turning gabe to stone at the end of all this
5. percy blacking out from using his powers to get him and annabeth out of the water. while he’s nowhere close to being a master at his craft at this point in the books, and he is known to lose control, even as a more seasoned warrior, i don’t think what he did warranted a blackout. i feel like they’re underselling his innate strength a little bit.
6. overall, although it kind of worked out, there was just a lot of plot deviation from the books—grover not going to waterland, no mechanical spiders, percy and annabeth not jumping out the ride into free fall and being saved by grover wearing maia, although they crash into a billboard etc etc.
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nightislandnoveltymug · 2 months ago
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Lmaoo @monstersinthecosmos here u go!! IN RE THE PET ARMAND POST but not reblogging to add on because [looks at how much I wrote]. (The gist of the original post being, Marius' relationship with Armand is fundamentally different from that with e.g. Pandora and although he loves him, he does so in a far more paternalistic way and Armand is never his equal.)
Everything you said about Marius and fathers and parental relationships is so good, and this part, just, bingo: I think a lot about how his need for stoicism and humanity is probably also expressed with his need to be the paterfamilias. So I agree lmao!, I'm just here to ramble pointlessly to expand on some points you raised because I got excited!
Just jumping off from this: What’s interesting with Marius’s fledglings though is that he tends not to treat them as equals. ... Even once Armand is a vampire, he’s still not Marius’s equal, and Marius’s age and power are still held over him. 
I feel like Marius maybe didn't exactly know what he wanted Armand to be -- he had never so calculatedly picked out a prospective fledgling ahead of time before, and then had the time to mould them and prepare them for the job. And like, I say calculatedly, and it 100% was, he goes through that whole internal spiel on how an amnesiac orphan is perfect because they won't be missed lmao, but I still think he mis-calculated! I wonder if on some level he thought he wanted someone who would be his pupil at first but would then 'graduate' from that state, who would challenge him, someone he could have an equal exchange of ideas with, because that sounded nice in theory -- but when it came right down to it, he would find the transition between states difficult.
Of course the 'transition', for him and Armand, was the Covens destroying their life together and Marius then meeting Armand centuries later as an 'adult' vampire, a figure of power in his own right, who had been a leader of others, and who had grown into that role completely outside of Marius' influence (indeed, by espousing an ideology Marius hated).
So it's possible that if that hadn't happened, and Marius had been able to 'train' Armand in vampirism for a few years more, he would have been better able to let go of him as a pupil and begin to see him as a former pupil, and a full-fledged (ha) immortal, and an adult. It's possible. But I'm not entirely sure he would be able to, in actual practice. This is kind of related to this thing you said, for me: By never seeing Armand as a complete person, Marius never has to feel threatened by him. We see this in toxic parents a lot. Like, I want you to be good, but I’m insecure if you’re better than me.
I think that's so true!! But also, miscalculation again, I feel like he went into this with a too optimistic assessment of his own ability to be secure in himself when under constant scrutiny by another person who -- because Marius picked Amadeo in part for those qualities!!! -- was alert and highly intelligent and would form his own judgments! He hoped that with a 'blank slate' (a very young boy with amnesia) he could avoid the thing which had always been the problem with e.g. Pandora, namely that she held different views from him, and would not be swayed. (B&G: I remembered my own long ago reflection on the promise of a virgin, that one could make of a virgin what one wished without price. etc) Amadeo retaining as much of the values and 'ideology' of his home as he did was something Marius hadn't anticipated, I think -- much less the almost aloof and patronising attitude Amadeo took towards him sometimes!
I think it may also be important here that Marius hadn't lived this close with anyone since Pandora, and then Mael and Avicus for a while, and he couldn't handle it with them either lmao. He's the king of self-isolating, both emotionally and geographically, and he's had centuries to get used to never being Perceived! And I think he really thought that he would be able to handle it because Amadeo would be his pupil and Marius has so many centuries on him, surely nothing this human child could do could faze him. But then this literal teenager's perceptions and opinions kept getting under his skin! I guess what I'm saying is like: I absolutely think he saw Armand as a helpless, lovely thing he could dote on and feed and clothe and help to thrive, and be in charge of, and mould the way he wanted, and derive comfort from. Which while obviously not a 1:1 to how we think of a dog lol, has a lot of the same overtones as a relationship to a pet. But!, I also think Marius not only wasn't prepared for Armand's personality, I think he also failed to predict himself and his own responses. Like you also pointed out, he's never fully consistent.
Moving on a bit: to the part about the Covens' kidnapping of Armand being perceived by Marius almost as harming him more: you know me, I will never shut up about these two bits from B&G!!
And here lay the proof now that he had not destroyed my beautiful child, rather he had made of him a victim. He had won him over; he had taken Amadeo to himself! He had more utterly defeated me than I had ever dreamt. // "They starved our Amadeo," I said, "they tortured him. This is plain here. And when he had given up all hope, believing me to be dead, and believing their piety to be just, he became one of them."
Because this is the only thing where I'm like WELL ACKSHULLY lmao -- it isn't even that he didn't know what was done to Armand! I think he just... wasn't fully able to take the consequences of knowing. Which ofc just underscores what you said about him not seeing Armand fully as an equal but more as a part of his household/as one of his dependants, because like, if this had been Pandora, who had been tortured?? Marius is already rearing to go because Raymond Gallant told him that he heard from some random vampire that Arjun was abusive to Pandora! But when it's Armand... obviously not to say that he cares less or he loves him less, but suddenly it becomes an extension of the attack on his person, rather than an outrage against someone he loves.
(And yeah, tbh it's entirely possible that him seeing Armand as like, not a full autonomous person does 'redirect' Marius' anger -- away from Armand and onto Santino instead; that if he did see Armand as a full equal, he would be angry with him, for joining the covens. But I think even there, he slips up a little, because he clearly is angry with him for it! And he's trying to reel it back into the parameters he's set up, where it wasn't Armand's fault that he got caught up in the Marius-Santino duel and he couldn't help it. But he never quite succeeds, and the hurt bleeds into their present-day relationship I think, without Marius ever being willing to acknowledge that that's what it is. Super healthy!! I love vampires.)
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